When Cheating with an Insignificant Becomes Significant

GUEST POST by PYNK on a different yet necessary topic, Infidelity!

Cheating, infidelity, adultery - in each of these circumstances, someone went beyond the expectations of a commitment, and someone was left with the painful decision of staying or leaving, and possibly a broken heart. This subject is always an emotional one that can cause sadness and hurt. Most people have been there, and so have I. This is why I was so excited about the opportunity to write on the subject of infidelity in the novella series, INSIGNIFICANT OTHERS, with bestselling author Carol Taylor.

The Dictionary website defines the word insignificant as meaning; too small to be important. When one steps outside of a relationship for a physical or emotional encounter with someone on the side who is too small to be important, less significant to them than their own significant other, to me, that side person becomes more important; so important that the affair with that person is worth more than the destruction of the main relationship. It takes maturity, wisdom, and devotion to not take that risk. No matter the reason; loneliness, temptation, a loss of will, a hug that went too far, etc., someone ends up getting hurt. Thus, the topic is a passionate one.

The first time I was cheated on was when I was in high school and I found out on the night of my prom that my boyfriend took his ex-girlfriend to her prom the night before (he wore the tux he'd gotten for my prom). Another time, I went out of town with a man to meet his mother for the first time, and she told me she hadn't seen him in a year, when he'd just told me he went to see her three months earlier. (He did travel to her town, but he stayed with his kid's mom). Or even when I sat in my man's car talking to him, and a phone vibrated from under the seat. That was when I found out he had two cell phones; one for me and his family, and one for his five insignificant women. Five minutes later, one of those women called me on my phone (he'd called me from her phone one day and blocked the call) and she asked to speak to him. I told her to call him on his chic-on-the-side phone in 5 minutes, that I'd be out of his life for good and she could have him, and graduate to being the main phone woman. There are many more examples, but the point is, I've been there and I survived, though breakups are not pretty. At one point in my life, I was the cheater, and it was messy, so I can't throw stones. To this day, I don't even consider cheating. It's just not worth it. I live up to my commitments - period.

The story I've written in INSIGNIFICANT OTHERS is called Erotic City: Miami, and it centers around those who swing, and why anyone would do that, in particular, when it's done along with his/her mate. What would be the end result? Does it make things better to join in with someone who wants to satisfy their lustful thoughts for someone other than you? And when it's all said and done, wouldn't that couple really prefer to be monogamous? Is watching your mate have sex with an insignificant partner really worth it, simply because at the end of the day, you're the significant one, the number one girl/guy? I explore quite a few scenarios that will make you think. It surely made Milan Kennedy, the owner of Erotic City swingers club, think. Getting ourselves into situations that go too far, whether out on a lunch date with a coworker, or going to a neighbor's house for a cup of sugar, most times, without will-power, can be a, "Baby, one thing led to another," situation - thus infidelity.

Bottom line, be faithful, keep your word, and if what's good for the goose is good for the gander, fine; just make sure the trysts with the geese don't come back to haunt your loving commitment with your significant other, because he/she may forgive you, but they'll never forget.

PYNK

www.authorpynk.com

Click here to purchase INSIGNIFICANT OTHERS by PYNK and Carol Taylor

Erotica and Audio Books

Some of you know and some don't, but I write erotica under the pen name, PYNK, and myself and bestselling author Carol Taylor, of Brown Sugar fame, have just released an anthology of two novellas called INSIGNIFICANT OTHERS. The two stories, Erotic City: Miami, and The Ex Chronicles: Plan B, also sold separately, are sequels to our previous titles, Erotic City and The Ex Chronicles.

Our publisher, Insatiable Press, is an newly formed imprint of AudioGO. Publishers are convinced that erotica sells better in electronic format, and especially in audio format, due to readers preferring to read the title on a device or listen to a narrator in private, as opposed to holding a printed book, especially if the sexy cover or title means those around them will know what they're reading - some see that as a violation of privacy.

I think as far as audio goes, to have a narrator with a sexy and natural voice read a story to you so you can relax and take it in, vs. turning the pages or scrolling through, makes for a much more enjoyable experience, though as a result of a very unofficial poll on my Facebook page, it seems there are still a great number of readers who prefer the printed book, no matter the genre.

So this is a good and exciting time for erotica authors, based on new technologies, and the popularity of, yes, Fifty Shades of Gray, but all in all, readers are looking for good stories, and erotica that isn't just about sex, but that is a page-turner with a plot and memorable characters. Excuse me if I do say so myself, but INSIGNIFICANT OTHERS is just that. (Shameless plug, sorry!) Carol Taylor and I agreed to focus on the theme of infidelity, which makes for great discussion. Erotic City: Miami surrounds the lives of a newly married couple who own a swingers club in Atlanta, and the drama that ensues in their newest location in Miami, and The Ex Chronicles: Plan B explores the erotic relationships of four best friends in New York, London and Amsterdam, and how they maneuver their careers, and love lives.

Our talented editor, Robert Podrasky says, "Carol and Pynk share an edgy, sexy sensibility in their books that readers love, and we are very excited to partner with them on this special project, which brings their complementary styles and enormous talent together for the first time.”

Needless to say, we're thrilled about this release, which is the first in a 4-part novella series. Parts 2 - 4 debut every six months, in November 2013, May 2014 and November 2014.

This post is about the recent preference for erotic books in audio format, but I admit, it's also a way to hopefully help spread the word about our newest title, both among our fellow authors, and readers.

Thanks for the opportunity. Feel free to share your opinions about whether or not you think readers prefer certain genres in certain formats. Our blog page is www.insignificantothersbooks.blogspot.com. You can also find us on Facebook at www.facebooks.com/insignificantothersbooks.

Smooches,

PYNK :)

Red hot chili peppers—the spicy side of romance

I was at a party a few weekends ago where I met two young ladies.  A relative of mine introduced me to them as an author.  They proceeded to ask the question that most authors get, “What kind of books do you write?”

When I responded that I wrote romance, one of the ladies said with disdain, “That kind of stuff is too hot for me.”

“What kind of stuff?” I asked.

“If you write anything like what she [my relative] reads, well that is just wild stuff.”

Turns out my relative reads erotica.

Of course I defended the genre by saying romance is about love.  A discussion ensued where I tried to show the difference between romance and erotica.  I described romance as being driven by the love between the main characters, while erotica is driven more by the sexual content whether or not there is a love story.  Furthermore, the sexual content in erotica is generally more explicit than in romance.  But after a few minutes of discussion and a few blatant examples, I realized the lines between romance and erotica were sometimes so blurred it was difficult to distinguish.  

Why? The romance genre is a spectrum when it comes to the sexual content.  On one end of the spectrum lies the inspirational romance based on faith, where there is no mention of sex or even male/female contact besides holding hands.  In those, even among married characters, sex can only be implied.  On the other end of the spectrum is the spicy romance that contains so many explicit sex scenes that they can be categorized as erotica.  Between the extremes there are the sweet romances, the mild romance with just an implication of sexual activity and the more spicy romances with one more sex scenes between the characters in love.  Even then it can vary from sweet and romantic, to hot and spicy, to outright erotic.

So how can a reader tell whether a romance is sweet or spicy?  I guess they can read the summary at the back of the book.  But that often times tell the story line without indication for the spice level.  They can use the author as a guide.  If the author is Leanne Banks they can expect something a lot spicier than if it was Debbie Macomber.  But some authors write both sweet and sensual romances.  A third way to distinguish is by the imprint.  We can expect Harlequin Blaze and Kensington Brava to be spicy hot, while traditional Regencies and Harlequin’s Silhouette would be more on the mild side. But with the increase in self-published books, using the imprint as a guide may not be so helpful.

Well, some groups have provided a spice ranking on their blog reviews so one can tell how explicit the books are.  “All About Romance” rates books as Kisses, subtle, warm, hot or burning.  Their descriptions are posted on their website www.likesbooks.com.  My favorite ranking system, mainly for its metaphor, is the chili pepper ranking by “notyourordinarybookbanter”  Their rankings include the chili green pepper, chili red pepper, chili pepper on fire and chili pepper roasted.

While these rankings don’t give the intimate details of the book or storyline, they do give a good indication of the sexual content of the book.  For example, my novel, “A Marriage of Convenience” was given a “warm” ranking which aptly indicated the level of sensuality. The unfortunate thing about these rankings is that you cannot find them on the books when you purchase them in the bookstore and they are only available when those particular blogs post a review of the books.  Maybe in the future Amazon will do a similar sensuality ranking or publishers would put those rankings on books.

But until that is done, to determine the spice level of romance readers will just have to depend on the resources they have at their disposal: the blogs, the quick scan of the books, author stereotypes, or recommendations from friends.

As for those two ladies at the party, by the end of the conversation, they were eager to obtain copies of my romance novels. I guess I didn’t do too bad a job of selling myself and my genre.

Guest author Delaney Diamond: My On-Again/Off-Again Affair With Erotic Romance

Delaney Diamond is the bestselling author of African-American and interracial romance.  Her latest books, Worth Waiting For (sweet interracial romance) and The Temptation of a Good Man (sensual African-American romance), will be released this fall. Visit www.delaneydiamond.com or join her at www.facebook.com/delaneydiamond to stay up to date on future releases. 

Everyone knows sex sells. Take a look at ads for GoDaddy.com, Carl Jr.’s hamburgers, and perfume ads, and you’ll agree with me. Because of the sexy nature of the ads, they remain planted in consumers’ minds, and those businesses watch their sales go through the roof each time a new commercial launches.

The same holds true for romance novels. Sex and romance go hand in hand. When I first started reading erotic romance, I have to admit it was thrilling, but the bloom has started to fade off the rose. I’ve found lately that I don’t purchase as many erotic titles as I used to, and I’m less likely to try new-to-me erotic romance authors. The fact is, erotic romance has gotten a little extreme for my taste. It seems authors are trying to outkink each other.

There are basically three heat levels of romance. Sweet (inspirational is sweet with religious content), sensual, and erotic. I read books in all three categories, but my writing remains firmly planted in sweet and sensual.

Below are some of the gripes I have about erotic romance:

• Lack of plot. Whenever I find one that has a good plot and sexy scenes, I’m always excited. I’m tired of sex scene after sex scene. I just end up skipping over them.

• Excessive curse words. Curse words can be used to signal anger, excitement, etc. They can also be used in dialogue to distinguish the speech patterns of certain characters from others. However, if everyone in the book is cursing up a storm, it’s a turn off. I don’t need the f-bomb dropped every three sentences.

• Graphic descriptions. This goes hand in hand with excessive curse words for me. Granted, I tend to use euphemisms in my writing. I realize that not everyone appreciates words like shaft, manhood, arousal, and apex of her thighs as substitutions for sexual organs, but that’s what I’m comfortable writing.

I’m okay reading words like c*ck and p*ssy, but when they show up every five sentences, I get aggravated. And the one word that I absolutely can’t tolerate as a female sex organ is the word c*nt. Ugh. It knocks me out of a sex scene every time, but the word has become more prevalent in erotic romance and gets tossed around more than a frisbee on a sunny afternoon in the park.

• Unbelievable sexual scenarios. I used the word unbelievable because I’m hard-pressed to believe these are part of the billion-dollar genre romance. I think we need a new genre for these types of books. Just a thought…

• A ménage à trois is no longer enough. Now we have heroines sleeping with as many as seven men. Seven. I found one like this. The more the merrier, I guess.
• Voluntary incest. I still can’t believe this is considered romance.

I often run across conversation threads on Goodreads where readers bemoan their displeasure with erotic romance. Some are gravitating toward the opposite end of the spectrum—toward sweet books. I’m not sure if there are more readers reading sweet, or if it’s simply that they’ve become more vocal, but sweet books are taking off.

The Clean Romances Group on Goodreads has over 900 members and continues to grow steadily. My first sweet romance will be published by Astraea Press, a publisher dedicated to offering clean romance and fiction. Even though they only opened their doors in February of this year, they have dozens of published books by approximately twenty-five authors. They’re growing so fast that the owner just hired several more editors and another cover artist to meet the demand of submissions.

I realize this is all about personal taste, and we express our preferences by deciding how to spend our limited income. Anyone who prefers sweet or erotic won’t buy my sensual books any more than I will buy an erotic book that includes the situations I listed above.

So tell me, what are your preferences? What are you getting tired of seeing in the genre(s) you read?

So, Sex Sells, huh?

So, sex sells, huh? We hear that all the time. The notion that if the word sex, or sexy content and images are involved, folks will hand over their full attention, and their money.

This might be the case when it comes to music, or advertising, as in this body wash ad with the sexy image. And yes, sexy images on book covers are standard, eye-catching ways to promote - some of my titles have very sexy covers. But, I want to set the record straight as far as how well a sex related book will actually sell, simply because it is categorized as erotica. It won't - the simple fact that it's erotica is not enough, and it can sometimes be a negative as opposed to a positive. It is an injustice to all erotica authors to assume this - that we can simply throw a few dirty words in a book and we're done. Writing erotica is a bold move, and writing erotica is not easy.

People have said that some authors switched genres to make money in this industry, and that they (we) decided to write erotica to please our publishers and to get on the "sex sells" bandwagon to make money. Well, I'm here to tell you that just because you write an erotica book, you are not automatically going to start pulling in the riches because you now use "P" words that place your titles into a "popular" genre. No matter how popular the genre might be, your book will not sell unless readers know about it through advertising or word of mouth, and it will not garner word of mouth if the writing is inferior. You must still craft a good story, sex or not, and write a page-turner, three-some or not. It's not about the sex, it's about the journey of the characters.

Writing erotica is not the magic road you can take to the land of riches. Deciding to write erotica is not as easy as one might think. A lot of factors must be taken into account. Some are internal, and others are about whether one can write a story that qualifies as erotica - not just one story, many stories, because just as with any genre, it can take a building of momentum to begin to get noticed.

I've written eleven books in many genres, including inspirational fiction, and erotica under the name PYNK, had numerous contracts, self-published as well - writing erotica is not a get rich quick scheme - we are all in the business together, working hard to reach the best-seller lists that will hopefully mean/lead to selling thousands, millions, billions of copies. It's not as easy as simply picking a genre. It's all about writing the book that people can't stop talking about, the one that garners tons of attention, the one that sells out and reprints, and ensures a royalty check is in the envelope along with that lonely royalty statement. Sometimes there's an accompanying check, and sometimes there's not!

In the meantime we write, hopefully because we love it. And we write to express the stories that we feel need to be told, whether romance, mainstream, mystery, or erotica. And though we categorize titles, we should not categorize each other. No matter what genre we write in, we are all authors living our passion, whether we sell or not. The books on the shelves are a smorgasbord of tastes - a plethora of sizes - a melting pot of colors. One does not suit all. Sexy cover or not.

So, sex sells, huh?

Playing It Safe? Not!

It's been a while since I've posted Pynk-style on Novel Spaces, but in honor of my new release that comes out in 45 days, on March 23rd, I thought I'd touch on the subject of the book, which is sex addiction. The title is SEXAHOLICS. There's been a lot of buzz about sex addiction lately - there's a reality show, and tons of celebrity gossip about who is and who isn't addicted. Addictions, be it food, shopping, gambling, alcohol, love, sex, whatever, are very real and can ruin or end folks' lives and the lives of those whose paths they cross.

SEXAHOLICS was a challenge to write - to create four, three-dimensional women with very different backgrounds and lives, who are lust addicts, or sex drunks as I call them, was not an easy task, but I asked for it. It was my bright idea. As writers, the same rules that apply to crafting a story apply no matter what the genre. I put my heart and soul into this novel, and for those who enjoy erotica, it is my desire that this title brings an understanding of what it's like to live with a sex addiction illness. The 12-Steps for Sexaholics Anonymous members include a belief in a power greater than themselves. One Sexaholics Anonymous executive told me you can't recover without faith. Call it what you want, but whatever your religion is or isn't, you must believe in a higher power, or else recovery will allude you and you'll continue to fall of the sobriety wagon.

I look forward to the discussions about addictions in general, mainly as it relates to today’s current events. I posted the question on my FaceBook page recently, "Do you think Tiger Woods is really a sex addict, or is he in a sex rehab clinic (allegedly) for publicity reasons so he'll look like he's healed." Some say if every person who cheated on a spouse was in the public eye, they'd be sending a whole lot of people to rehab for sex, but because Tiger is in a fishbowl, the answer is to get him fixed, when he's no more addicted than any other "married player."

What's your opinion on it? Do you think Tiger's alleged addiction diagnosis is legitimate (and I know this would just be speculation), or did he simply get carried away with his busty bevy of opportunities. I'd love to hear your opinions.

I'm no expert on the subject, but one thing writing does is it requires you to do your research in developing your characters, and the result is that we become much more informed about the world around us, far beyond our own safe little box. And one thing we can't be as writers, whether penning women's fiction, horror, urban, romance, Christian fiction, or erotica . . . is safe when it comes to crafting our works.

Smooches,

xoxo

The character of S-E-X!

S-E-X - that teeny-tiny three letter word. I find people's reactions to the subject so very interesting. It can be the dirty little word that causes ears to perk and eyebrows to raise. It can make blood pressures boil and cheeks blush. Sex breeds such controversy and shame. Such excitement and satisfaction. Sex garners attention, and at the same time, resistance. Sex, in itself, is a character.

Some believe the natural law of sexual intercourse was for purposes of procreation within marriage for formation of the family unit. The male has an orgasm and if all goes well, the woman gets pregnant. Her orgasm (IF she had one) was intended to aid him, and to assist the meeting of the sperm and the egg. Times have changed, though beliefs still linger in our heads that cause much guilt. All and all, the bottom line is, without sex, all else simply isn't. It's how we all got here, yet it's such a hush-hush subject. Though it is, pleasurable.

In November of 2008, I released my first erotica book, Erotic City, under the name Pynk. I knew that I could not simply write a book in the genre of erotica that's just sex, sex, sex - a writer must have well-developed characters, risk, conflict, and all of the pieces of the puzzle that make for a great story. In spite of those who say sex sells, an erotica book won't sell if you don't work hard to develop the story, and make sure that the sex scenes reveal a lot about the characters; how they react to sex, whether or not they talk in bed (or in the backseat), do they take the lead, scream, give, receive, are they repressed, etc. All of these actions should tell a reader about the individuals themselves.

Erotic City revolves around a woman who owns a swingers club, yet I didn't write a book about swinging. I wrote about the lives of swingers. The second book, Sexaholics, is about four women who are addicted to sex. Sex addiction, just like alcohol or gambling, is an illness. Writing the book required a lot of research to develop each character's specific arc. I even attended a few Sexaholics meetings just to learn as much as I could. For me, writing erotica is fun, yet just as challenging and just as much work as my mainstream titles. It still requires adherence to craft.

During my erotica talks, we do discuss my characters, but also, men and women also ask about sex toys, swinging, cyber-sex, oral sex, squirting, etc. The ones who start out looking reserved and shy, eventually tend to let their hair down. I love it when we can talk openly amongst each other about such important, yet still taboo subjects. Especially women, because we've been taught to not embrace our sexuality, that we won't get a husband if we're not "good" girls who save themselves for marriage, even though we desire to enjoy ourselves to the fullest extent, too. After all, bodies are built for pleasure. I try to encourage readers to be sexually confident, and remind them that whether they're alone, married, committed, single, gay, straight, whatever; to be mindful of protecting themselves through safe sex, first and foremost. Healthy sex amongst consenting adults can be a beautiful thing, and it's really no else's business. It basically depends upon one's spiritual and moral beliefs, and one size does not fit all.

I hope that through my erotica writing, I can give readers a peek into what it's like to live lives that are considered risque or erotic. I try to allow folks a voyeuristic view into the daily lives of my characters - living through them even though most times we wouldn't dare, and maybe heat up the libido of a reader or two. I always joke that reading erotica does not equate to freak-hood, :-) any more than writing erotica does. In the meantime, I hope that we women, especially, take time to live our sexy dreams. To me, as a writer, that would be orgasmic!

Here are a few books that Oprah recently recommended about sex. Please feel free to check them out. Smooches!