Curiosity. We must fill a reader’s head with questions. Here is my story opening for Murder at the Moonshine Inn:
If only I could learn to say no, I wouldn’t be perched on a bar stool in a redneck bar, breathing secondhand smoke and pretending to flirt with men sporting baseball caps and Confederate bandanas, their eyes riveted on my Victoria’s Secret-enhanced cleavage. I wouldn’t be tricked out in a bizarre hairstyle, frosted blue eye shadow, painted-on jeans with strategically placed slashes, and a two-sizes-too-small Harley Davidson tank top.
I hit the rewind button on my life and stopped a few days earlier, at the point where Phyllis Ross threw a cup of coffee in Nina Brown’s face. How that led to this undercover assignment—finding out who killed a middle-aged drunken woman in the parking lot of the Moonshine Inn—is quite a tale.
Who is the narrator and why is she investigating a murder? Is she a cop or a private investigator? Unlikely, since she’s clearly reluctant and it’s her difficulty with saying “no” that landed her in a situation that doesn’t thrill her. If only I could learn to say no, I wouldn’t be perched on a barstool in a redneck bar.
So our sleuth, while intrepid, is less than enthused about her assignment. Who convinced her to find the killer of a middle-aged drunken woman? And why ask her? Blackmail? Calling in favors? Or is there a personal connection?
It’s clear that our sleuth doesn’t frequent redneck bars and that her getup is a departure from her usual style. If only I could learn to say no … I wouldn’t be tricked out in a bizarre hairstyle, frosted blue eye shadow, painted-on jeans with strategically placed slashes, and a two-sizes-too-small Harley Davidson tank top.
Maybe she isn’t even a woman. Hmm.
What about the other characters, like the middle-aged drunken woman who met her maker in the Moonshine Inn’s parking lot? Who is she? Who is the coffee-flinging Phyllis Ross? Who is Nina Brown?
Why did Phyllis Ross throw coffee in Nina Brown’s face? And how did the coffee incident precipitate the sleuth’s undercover assignment?
I hope I now have mystery lovers so curious that they’re eager to dive in and learn more about my sleuth and her adventures in Murder at the Moonshine Inn.