Wednesday, July 3, 2013

When Cheating with an Insignificant Becomes Significant

GUEST POST by PYNK on a different yet necessary topic, Infidelity!

Cheating, infidelity, adultery - in each of these circumstances, someone went beyond the expectations of a commitment, and someone was left with the painful decision of staying or leaving, and possibly a broken heart. This subject is always an emotional one that can cause sadness and hurt. Most people have been there, and so have I. This is why I was so excited about the opportunity to write on the subject of infidelity in the novella series, INSIGNIFICANT OTHERS, with bestselling author Carol Taylor.

The Dictionary website defines the word insignificant as meaning; too small to be important. When one steps outside of a relationship for a physical or emotional encounter with someone on the side who is too small to be important, less significant to them than their own significant other, to me, that side person becomes more important; so important that the affair with that person is worth more than the destruction of the main relationship. It takes maturity, wisdom, and devotion to not take that risk. No matter the reason; loneliness, temptation, a loss of will, a hug that went too far, etc., someone ends up getting hurt. Thus, the topic is a passionate one.

The first time I was cheated on was when I was in high school and I found out on the night of my prom that my boyfriend took his ex-girlfriend to her prom the night before (he wore the tux he'd gotten for my prom). Another time, I went out of town with a man to meet his mother for the first time, and she told me she hadn't seen him in a year, when he'd just told me he went to see her three months earlier. (He did travel to her town, but he stayed with his kid's mom). Or even when I sat in my man's car talking to him, and a phone vibrated from under the seat. That was when I found out he had two cell phones; one for me and his family, and one for his five insignificant women. Five minutes later, one of those women called me on my phone (he'd called me from her phone one day and blocked the call) and she asked to speak to him. I told her to call him on his chic-on-the-side phone in 5 minutes, that I'd be out of his life for good and she could have him, and graduate to being the main phone woman. There are many more examples, but the point is, I've been there and I survived, though breakups are not pretty. At one point in my life, I was the cheater, and it was messy, so I can't throw stones. To this day, I don't even consider cheating. It's just not worth it. I live up to my commitments - period.

The story I've written in INSIGNIFICANT OTHERS is called Erotic City: Miami, and it centers around those who swing, and why anyone would do that, in particular, when it's done along with his/her mate. What would be the end result? Does it make things better to join in with someone who wants to satisfy their lustful thoughts for someone other than you? And when it's all said and done, wouldn't that couple really prefer to be monogamous? Is watching your mate have sex with an insignificant partner really worth it, simply because at the end of the day, you're the significant one, the number one girl/guy? I explore quite a few scenarios that will make you think. It surely made Milan Kennedy, the owner of Erotic City swingers club, think. Getting ourselves into situations that go too far, whether out on a lunch date with a coworker, or going to a neighbor's house for a cup of sugar, most times, without will-power, can be a, "Baby, one thing led to another," situation - thus infidelity.

Bottom line, be faithful, keep your word, and if what's good for the goose is good for the gander, fine; just make sure the trysts with the geese don't come back to haunt your loving commitment with your significant other, because he/she may forgive you, but they'll never forget.



Charles Gramlich said...

the prom story reminds me. A girl I'd been dating had broken up with me, bu then around prom time wanted to get back together. I thought we were good again and took her to the prom. Turns out that's all she wanted to do was go to the prom. Afterward, she told me to go have fun with my friends. I thought she was just wonderful until I found out she wanted me out of the house so her other boyfriend could come over

Liane Spicer said...

Congratulations on the collaboration, Pynk. Definitely a hot-button topic.