Sunday, October 21, 2012

Dress code for writers

Johnny Depp in Secret Window

Try to picture a writer at work and what comes to mind? I'm willing to bet it's something like Johnny Depp's character in Secret Window—wearing a garment so ancient and ratty he could push his fist through the holes and still have room to spare.

I'm here to tell you that writers do not dress like that for work: we discard the robes when the holes are big enough for us to poke two fingers through.

Not long ago, the issue of attire came up among Novel Spaces members. Several of the females confessed that we—coughthey pretty much lived in jeans and sandals and avoided events and places that required anything more complicated. Certain male members, on the other hand, appeared to think that 'formal' and 'business casual' meant they had to wear pants. The only reasonable conclusion to be drawn was that male writers, um, hang around pant-less much of the time.

Ratty bathrobes, no pants, jeans, sandals, and event avoidance? We decided an intervention was needed. After much intelligent discussion we arrived at a sensible dress code for writers. Since there is no way to enforce any kind of code in the privacy of people's homes, we stuck to public appearances—the ones we can't come up with creative reasons to weasel out of.

The Novel Spaces sartorial code
  • No sequins and fisherman's sandals worn together (both sexes)
  • No bare shoulders (both sexes)
  • No cleavage (anyone who has)
  • No mini anything (women)
  • No Armani dinner jackets over Speedos (men)
  • No jeans and sandals—no sandals! (both sexes)
  • No topless ensembles (both sexes)
  • Kilts, to replace the dreaded pants (men)
The code was proposed, ratified and adopted by all. Writers, be guided accordingly.

Liane Spicer


Anonymous said...


Charles Gramlich said...

Since trying to get writers to do anything as a group is like trying to herd cats, do you think this will become universal? :)

Carmen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
William Doonan said...

This is a riot. As I sit here, preparing for a day of revising, I take solace in my wardrobe - old socks,... wait, that's pretty much it.

KeVin K. said...

Actually, as the winter months approach I'm likely to wear a robe.
I still maintain my dinner jacket and speedos average out to business casual, but I'll comply with the adopted guidelines when at any event other NovelNauts may hear about.
Except for the kilt part. Nothing else goes with my claymore.

Liane Spicer said...

Lol, guys.

Charles, I hope it does. I really like the kilt effect--especially on windy days. :D

William, I see we share wardrobe preferences. ;)

Kevin, no no no no no. Not the speedos again. And don't trip over your claymore! :P

Eugenia O'Neal said...

I had a great pair of huaraches years ago and have been looking for a replacement every since - they were of brown suede and soooo comfortable I wore them with everything! If I'd know they were going to be hard to find, I'd have bought ten pairs!

Dayton Ward said...

I'll wear Speedos under my kilt.

Liane Spicer said...

Dayton, according to Scottish law, you're prohibited from wearing anything but socks and shoes under your kilt. :P

Jewel Amethyst said...

really? NO cleavage? No bare shoulders? NO mini-dresses? What am I supposed to wear??? :) (lol)