Guest author Genella deGrey: Humor + Reality = Irony

I don’t consider myself a tree-hugger by any means and I don’t go around waving my “Global Warming” flag on every street corner, but do I have a deep reverence for our planet. If there is one thing I wish we would have learned from the ancient Earth religions, is how precious nature is. We as modern humans have left such a massive footprint on our already heavily trod-upon mother Earth that reversing the effects any time soon is going to take the entire party of 6.859 billion at one table. I often wonder if enough people will participate so that we live to see the turnaround.

About two years ago, a new level of consciousness collectively hit the more metro areas: The reusable shopping bag went viral. Everyone jumped on this wagon, and rightfully so.

Now, the reusable shopping bag philosophy is simple to the shopper—so much so that I won’t go into that here. Yet, to the grocery bagger, it seems the rules of bagging are now up for debate. (Back in the day, I worked at Target as a cashier and I have bagged things for the public. So suffice it to say, I know what I’m talking about.) Almost every person grocery shops or has purchased more than three items at a time. Bagging groceries seems a “no-brainer” for most of us.

Granted, the average reusable shopping bag can hold up to 22 lbs., however, that doesn’t mean the bowling ball can go in with the bread. For instance: What is wrong with the way these groceries are bagged?

A) The dirty dusty wine bottle shouldn’t be in with the open bread
B) The dirty dusty wine shouldn’t be in with the fragile flowers
C) The potentially poisonous yet fragile flowers shouldn’t be in with the open bread or the
dirty dusty wine bottle
D) All of the above

Doesn’t it make sense that the bread should be in its own clean bag – yes, even a plastic bag. (I personally don’t enjoy food that is prime real-estate for a bug fest or that someone could have sneezed or coughed on or even near at some point.) The flowers should also be in their own bag for health reasons. If both items were bagged thusly, the wine could conceivably be laid down at the bottom – IF you have only one bag available.

I’ve gone as far as setting the bag down on the conveyer belt FIRST, followed by what I want in that bag: The feminine products, the napkins, TP and the new can of coffee . . . bag . . . boxes of rice, cake mix, pasta and cereal together . . . bag . . . frozen and cold things together . . . Really, how hard can it be? However, it hasn’t worked yet. The hint has fallen through the cracks. Le Sigh.

Now, just to be fair, I’ve never had a household cleaner put in the same bag as my food. (Knock on wood and wake the Faeries.) But dang it if the decorative garden stepping stone hasn’t been put in the reusable shopping bag with the chips!

So what, you ask, should your well-packed, reusable grocery bags look like?

Voilà!

I can carry these! My groceries aren’t sticking out of the top! The cold things are likely with the other cold things, and the paper products are not in with wet things!

I shall lie in wait for a blog by grocery store execs which will educate their baggers.

In the meantime and as far off this topic as one can get . . . I have a new e-book out called, The Trouser Game. I’m super-excited about this one— it’s a sexy Victorian, Sabrina-type romantic comedy a la Oscar Wilde with a healthy splash of Easy Virtue.

You can get it here, but most importantly, you can get a look at the entire first chapter here: Read Excerpt.

So stay warm this winter with a steamy book or two – and keep an eye on your grocery bagger!

“If I wanted flat bread, I’d have purchased it!”

;)

—Genella deGrey writes historical romance. She'd love for you to visit her website: www.genelladegrey.com