Friday, October 23, 2009

My Fantasy Writing Life

I laugh inside when I hear some beginning writers fantasize about their life after publication. They dream of hitting the New York Times’ bestseller list, having glamorous book-release parties attended by hundreds, and being importuned at restaurants and in the grocery store for autographs.

It’s not that I don’t want fame and fortune. Like any writer, I want to reach a large audience and have my achievements recognized.

But after living the life of a professional writer for more than twenty years, my daily fantasies soar less high. In my dream writing world, here is what my life is like:

✥ I have several office cats who purr soothingly and keep me company, but never eat, shed, throw up, chew the edges of book covers, use the litter box, or attempt to jump to the highest shelf of bookcases.

✥ People don’t assume I'm available for time-consuming projects because I don’t have a “real job.”

✥ The yoga studio holds classes at 7 or 7:30 am instead of during the workday, when they knock out several hours of work.

✥ My Facebook friends post only the things I want to know about. What are those things? Like an editor, I can’t define what I want, but I’ll know it when it see it.

✥ I don’t work weekends, but instead sew, hike, garden, sightsee, read for pleasure, call friends and family members, and do whatever else it is that nonwriters do on Saturdays and Sundays.

✥ When someone asks me what my book (which I wrote months or years earlier) is about, I remember.

✥ Someone else goes to the post office for me, as well as fuels my car, picks up my prescriptions, keeps my account book up to date, and goes to my doctor and labwork appointments. Especially that last one.

✥ After I create a marketing plan, the bookmarks, flyers, review requests, and guest blog posts magically appear and distribute themselves appropriately.

✥ Best of all, I eat delicious chocolates all day long but gain no weight.

I’m glad you stopped by my post today. I’ll be blogging again at Novel Spaces on November 7, when I’ll talk about World Fantasy Convention, which is being held over Halloween weekend.

—Shauna Roberts


Farrah Rochon said...

What a great list, Shauna! That isn't too much to ask for. At this point, I just want to earn enough to make writing my day job. Oh, and that miraculously non-weight gaining chocolate would be nice, too. :)

Jewel Amethyst said...

In my fantasy world, I would just get more uninterrupted sleep. And yes, my books would sell very well.

Shauna Roberts said...

FARRAH, I think that non-weight-gaining chocolate would be popular among a lot of writers.

JEWEL, I can't believe I forgot to put sleep on my list of my fantasy writing life. I guess it's because I've been so sleep-deprived lately.

Phyllis Bourne said...

I think my miraculous chocolates are defective, cause I've been scarfing them down by the bagful and gaining like crazy.

Liane Spicer said...

Yes, and yes again to most of these (especially the neat chocolates). I'd read enough about publication before my book sold to know that life wasn't going to change much, if at all. (Heather Sellers Page After Page is great for nixing grandiose delusions in the bud.) So, like you, my fantasies were - are - more pragmatic.

I'll add:
Earn enough from writing to enable me to give up the day job and set my own hours, which translates roughly to sleep all day and work all night.