I've been having an interesting year.
My first novel came out, my mother passed away after two years of slow decline due to Alzheimer's, my sisters are all living in other states or countries, and my home was recently repaired when a contractor was able to fit us into his schedule. It has been a whirlwind of good, bad and indifferent, along with all the day to day things I need to do just to eat and have clean clothes.
After a month of book promotion, I have been trying to settle back into regular daily writing, doing a last minute freelance job that will keep me locked to the computer through the holiday, and struggling to establish something vaguely resembling a routine again. In the midst of it all, I found myself saying again and again, "As soon as I get past this, I can relax and start living the life I want to live..."
In the last week, I realized I am living my life. This is it. I am who I am, I am doing what I want to do, and the things I need to do. What I need to do is stop waiting for some magic moment to come along that makes it all okay. So, no more waiting for enough money in the bank to relax. No more waiting for enough time to dedicate my entire day to writing. Wherever it is I am going, I m there,and just have to live up to the moment.
In the words of Buckaroo Banzai, "No matter where you go, there you are." Be there, whatever it is, and make the most of what you have.