Guest author Genella deGrey: Humor + Reality = Irony

I don’t consider myself a tree-hugger by any means and I don’t go around waving my “Global Warming” flag on every street corner, but do I have a deep reverence for our planet. If there is one thing I wish we would have learned from the ancient Earth religions, is how precious nature is. We as modern humans have left such a massive footprint on our already heavily trod-upon mother Earth that reversing the effects any time soon is going to take the entire party of 6.859 billion at one table. I often wonder if enough people will participate so that we live to see the turnaround.

About two years ago, a new level of consciousness collectively hit the more metro areas: The reusable shopping bag went viral. Everyone jumped on this wagon, and rightfully so.

Now, the reusable shopping bag philosophy is simple to the shopper—so much so that I won’t go into that here. Yet, to the grocery bagger, it seems the rules of bagging are now up for debate. (Back in the day, I worked at Target as a cashier and I have bagged things for the public. So suffice it to say, I know what I’m talking about.) Almost every person grocery shops or has purchased more than three items at a time. Bagging groceries seems a “no-brainer” for most of us.

Granted, the average reusable shopping bag can hold up to 22 lbs., however, that doesn’t mean the bowling ball can go in with the bread. For instance: What is wrong with the way these groceries are bagged?

A) The dirty dusty wine bottle shouldn’t be in with the open bread
B) The dirty dusty wine shouldn’t be in with the fragile flowers
C) The potentially poisonous yet fragile flowers shouldn’t be in with the open bread or the
dirty dusty wine bottle
D) All of the above

Doesn’t it make sense that the bread should be in its own clean bag – yes, even a plastic bag. (I personally don’t enjoy food that is prime real-estate for a bug fest or that someone could have sneezed or coughed on or even near at some point.) The flowers should also be in their own bag for health reasons. If both items were bagged thusly, the wine could conceivably be laid down at the bottom – IF you have only one bag available.

I’ve gone as far as setting the bag down on the conveyer belt FIRST, followed by what I want in that bag: The feminine products, the napkins, TP and the new can of coffee . . . bag . . . boxes of rice, cake mix, pasta and cereal together . . . bag . . . frozen and cold things together . . . Really, how hard can it be? However, it hasn’t worked yet. The hint has fallen through the cracks. Le Sigh.

Now, just to be fair, I’ve never had a household cleaner put in the same bag as my food. (Knock on wood and wake the Faeries.) But dang it if the decorative garden stepping stone hasn’t been put in the reusable shopping bag with the chips!

So what, you ask, should your well-packed, reusable grocery bags look like?

Voilà!

I can carry these! My groceries aren’t sticking out of the top! The cold things are likely with the other cold things, and the paper products are not in with wet things!

I shall lie in wait for a blog by grocery store execs which will educate their baggers.

In the meantime and as far off this topic as one can get . . . I have a new e-book out called, The Trouser Game. I’m super-excited about this one— it’s a sexy Victorian, Sabrina-type romantic comedy a la Oscar Wilde with a healthy splash of Easy Virtue.

You can get it here, but most importantly, you can get a look at the entire first chapter here: Read Excerpt.

So stay warm this winter with a steamy book or two – and keep an eye on your grocery bagger!

“If I wanted flat bread, I’d have purchased it!”

;)

—Genella deGrey writes historical romance. She'd love for you to visit her website: www.genelladegrey.com

Hunting the Snark

“Any word you have to hunt for in a thesaurus is the wrong word. There are no exceptions to this rule.”

- Stephen King

I recently installed a daily quote widget on my iGoogle home page. Every day three random quotes from assorted people pop up, and how interesting they are varies from day to day. Today I found the quote above from Stephen King, and while I agree with much of what he has to say about writing on “About Writing”, on this one point I disagree with him.

I no longer use a bound thesaurus, though I think I still have one on the bookshelf someplace. Some years ago a friend turned me onto a program called the Visual Thesaurus, which displays the words as if they are floating in midair, connected by lines of meaning that place the word at the nexus of a series of slight variations. I agree with King that I seldom find the exact word that I’m looking for there, and am more often reminded of the occasional limitations of the English language.

What does happen is that as I click from word to word, and see the derivation of the word I stated with, or its precise definition on display beside it, I begin to think about what it is I am really trying to say. Sometimes I realize what that word means isn’t that at all, really, and I leap in a new direction that says what I‘m trying to say, only better.

The word you hunt for may not be the word you want, but I believe in the search. It breaks up the stream of thought that’s stopping you, opens you to increased possibilities. As you flip through a thesaurus of any kind, or pick up the dictionary, or click on a menu, you’re hunting the legendary Right Word, a creature very bit as mythical as Lewis Carroll’s Snark. You will find a lot of words on your journey, they will all have their appeal, and ultimately you will find the right way to say what you set out to say -- though probably not in the way you thought.

The search unearths new possibilities and meanings, and what you find will be the right word or combination of words. They will be right, not because the thesaurus gave them to you, or because you used a lot of different words for the same thing, but because you kept looking until you found the words that communicated your ideas clearly. I see the thesaurus not as the solution, but a beginning of the path to one.

That would be the one exception I would make to the King Condemnation. The trick is to be sure you’ve found a Snark, and not its evil doppelganger, the Boojum, that vanishes when caught, along with its hunter, just as bad writing, no matter how many words are used, renders any author invisible.

(illustration by Henry Holiday from The Hunting of the Snark by eBooks@Adelaide ©2007)

The Joy of Checklists

Checklists are one of the most useful tools for writers. I often wonder how writers who don't make checklists keep track of of their projects and what needs to be done on each and in what order.

Here are five ways checklists can make a writer's life easier.

1. They help you set priorities and stick to them. Most people today have far more things to get done each day and each week than can be fitted into just 24 hours or 7 days. If you make a list of the tasks that need to get done and rank them by importance in the grand scheme of life, you can make sure that your writing and your family get taken care of first and that everything else—errands, chores, phone calls, your blog—are stuffed into the time left over, or put off, or even hired out.

2. They keep your sights high. I make a list of ambitious writing goals for every new year and post it on my wall. I write faster and more efficiently and get much more writing done when I have that list of projects to remind me of what I need to accomplish by the end of the year. I make similar lists at the start of each month.

3. They prevent last-minute panics. You can routinely get writing projects done on or before deadlines by (1) making a list of all the components and subcomponents of the project, (2) figuring out the order in which they need to be done and by when, and (3) assigning deadlines to each task. If you check off each item on the list after you do it, you can make sure you don't overlook anything important.

4. They can help you start a short story or novel. If you write stories that take place in the present in a familiar setting, you may be able to jump right into the writing. As a historical and spec fic writer, I usually have to create or research the setting, the clothes, the manners, and many other things. At least some of that work needs to be done before I can set fingers to keyboard. Many times I've sat down to begin a story, only to realize that I never ordered the research book I needed or that I have no idea what the staple foods were in that time period. Nowadays, when I have a story or novel idea, I make a list of the basics I need to know or possess before I can start writing. That list makes sure that when I sit down to start, I actually can start because I've got everything I need. While writing, I add new things to the list when, for example, the protagonist chooses an occupation I'm unfamiliar with or decides to travel to a climate I've never experienced.

5. They can be a cheap reward. Many years ago, I took recorder lessons from a teacher who put a frog sticker on any piece I played well at my lesson. I was embarrassed at the time at how much pride I took in those frog stickers when I was an adult and should be beyond stickers. Now, I'm beyond being embarrassed. I get a good feeling of accomplishment each time I check off an item on my daily to-do list or on my list of stories to send out or my list of topics to research. I buy sheets of stickers and reward myself with a sticker each time I meet certain goals. It's cheaper, faster, and less caloric than going out for ice cream.

What other ways have you found in which checklists can help your writing?


I'll be blogging at Novel Spaces again on Presidents' Day, February 21. I hope you stay warm and safe from the winter storms until them.

—Shauna Roberts

IT Can Happen - Stay Ready!

My pastor has often says, "Stay ready so you don't have to get ready." And I've believed that, even back when I wrote my first book, I was always ready for that offer from a publisher, that call from an agent, the happenstance meeting with a movie producer whom one might bump into at a mall or at someone's house, ready to give them a one minute pitch, clear and concise, prepared to answer any and all questions, knowing that when you're living your passion, you're more likely to live your dream.

From where I sit, and I'm sure from where she sits as well, author Dominique D. Mensah is living her dream. What a difference a day makes when one day you hear that the well-known author and host of his own nationally-syndicated radio show, Michael Baisden, is selecting a featured author and his/her book to be featured during his new weekly segment for the month of February 2011 called The Michael Baisden Book Club - Book of the Week, and then the next day, you find out that you've been selected as the very first author. Monique D. Mensah's book, Inside Rain, is featured this week and from what Monique posted on her FaceBook page, her page and her life are blowing up, as well as her email account and telephone. Also, her kindle sales ranking on both Inside Rain (2010) and Who Is He To You (2009) are now #1 and #2, respectively, in both the Fiction/Drama and Literature and Fiction/Drama categories.

It's great to see this type of thing happen to fellow authors, and I wish we had more opportunities like this that bring exposure to our works. It helps that as a fellow author, Michael Baisden understands the business and the marketing side of publishing, and the mere fact that he started the Book of the Week speaks volumes about his level of caring and support. This week, he's constantly mentioned Monique's name and book title every day, and has posted her website link and interview podcast on his Michael Baisden Live site, and on his FaceBook page, and over the next three weeks he'll do the same for three other authors.

Getting booked on nationally-syndicated radio shows is not easy, yet we know that radio is one of the best avenues to spread the word. At times it seems it's the well known authors who get the most radio promo, but what Michael is doing is he's also looking at new authors, surely some published by mainstream houses and some self-published, like Monique, who can all use a leg up to help spread the word. A book is not worth the paper it's written on if it's sitting on the shelf and no one knows about it.

In Monique D. Mensah's case, it appears a lot of people have read her book and love it. Her book, Inside Rain, has 62 reviews on Amazon. http://www.amazon.com/Inside-Rain-Monique-D-Mensah/dp/0615379915/ref=tmm_pap_title_0?ie=UTF8&qid=1296793818&sr=1-1

I wish Monique all the best and want her to know that her amazing opportunity reminds all of us authors that IT can happen if we stay ready. Monique submitted what was required, she has a great website and amazing book videos, and from what I've heard she's an excellent writer and editor.

All of this to say that yes, we have to stay ready so we don't have to get ready. Getting ready could mean you miss the knock at the door. Monique was ready, and I say to her and all of the authors that will be announced over the next three weeks, your fellow brothers and sisters-in-pen are proud of you. We see you living that dream!

Continue to write on!

You can find out more about Monique, as well as locate links to purchase her books at http://www.moniquedmensah.com/, and check out Michael Baisden's radio show at http://www.baisdenlive.com/

Video and practice

There is no good reason for a grown man, within bowshot of sixty, to be a level 34 soldier in Borderlands.

Of course I have a good explanation: Our son Anson tore his Achilles tendon and has been bedridden for the past month. Anson is a graphic artist, rehabilitation tech, and middle-school basketball coach who is always on the move; being laid up is purgatory for him. He does not watch TV (except sports), and though he does read graphic novels and sometimes draws or writes, these are relatively passive activities his high-calorie temperament can't abide for long. So the bulk of his time is filled with video games. And spending time with him involves either watching him play or being tutored in how to play.

Anson is a patient instructor, and, because he's an artist and knows I'm a writer, he has no problem at all with me going off-mission to simply wander around the game's world to see everything that went into it.

Okay; just deleted about 800 words and started over.
Predictably, I'd wandered off signal and summarized the games Anson tried to get me interested in before he hit upon Borderlands and the reasons I disliked each of them before remembering I'm supposed to be writing about writing, not reviewing video games. (For those who care, the ones that didn't fit were Fallout III, Fable III, Gears of War, & two versions of Call of Duty.) Of course, I have to explain Borderlands a bit to set the stage for what I'm writing about writing, so bear with me.

Borderlands is a role-playing first-person shooter build around a classic – if not tired – sci-fi scenario: mercenaries surviving by their wits and guns as they search for a fabled treasure on a world populated by corporate soldiers and ex-slaves abandoned by a company that had stripped the world of all its natural resources. There are scavenger hunts, rescues, puzzles, and gunfights. Lots of gunfights. But where most games go for graphic realism, Borderlands is cartoonish, almost campy, in its violence and you never lose sight of the fact the whole premise is just a bit silly.

Each character starts out with inadequate weapons and few skills – part of the game is searching for better equipment and improving yourself through experience points earned by undertaking various missions. For most of the first day I depended on Anson for survival as I flailed wildly about with a revolver or submachinegun. Anson reversed the controls for me – long ago flying taught me back is up and forward is down – and reduced joystick sensitivity until I quit spinning like a top and crashing into things, but it was pretty clear I was the comedic sidekick of the team.

Anson is years ahead of me in video gaming. I knew that if I wanted our game time together to be more than sessions of him being patient with an old guy whose avatar kept walking off cliffs I'd have to do something to bring myself up to his standards. Or at least be less of an embarrassment.

So I set myself a schedule of playing Borderlands solo for one hour every day. Some days I would go on missions. Other days I would practice skills. Can't jump from building to building? Jump, fall, climb the stairs, jump, fall, climb the stairs for twenty minutes until I got the button-and-joystick sequence right. (And no, waving the controller around does not help you jump.) I'm still not where he is – Anson has beaten the game once and is on his second trip through – but by this time next week I'll be good enough that we can take on the expansion packs as a team.

Many years ago I learned – and occasionally have to relearn – that writing is like any other craft. Sometimes you have to sit and practice.
Not happy with your love scenes? Find published ones you like and read them through. Don’t deconstruct each one, but get a sense of what it is that author did that resonates with you. Then write love scenes.
Can't write dialog that flows? Find scenes that sound good to your reader's ear and read them. You do not need to count how many times the word "said" is used (though I'll bet it's as least twice as often as you thought it was) but do notice things like the rhythm, the mix of description and spoken words, the word choices and the sentence fragments. Then write conversations.
Don't like your fight scenes? You know the drill.

My motivation for devoting an hour each day mastering the (most basic) skills of a video game is to be able to play well enough to share an experience he enjoys with my son. To develop my career as a writer, I need to spend the time and put in the effort necessary to master my craft. Even if that means giving myself writing exercises I know will never be published.
It's been a long time since I've done so. I'm thinking it's time I got back to doing that – using part of each day's writing time for a writing exercise aimed at improving my skills. This is hard for a writer to do – we like to think of everything we write being worth money. But a concert pianist practices for hours every day, fully aware that she is not getting paid to do so. She practice to prepare herself so that when she does give a concert, what her audience hears is her very best.

What do you do to ensure your readers see only your best?

Not So Fast...

Life is short.

Too short to spend on a mediocre read.

With that in mind, I no longer slog through a book that doesn’t ‘wow’ me. If I’m not hooked in the first 40 (50 at the most) pages, I’m out.

Contest entries are the exception the rule. I read the entire book – no matter what.

I was yawning through an entry yesterday, when BAM! The author hit me with a twist that turned the book around and totally sucked me in. I suddenly understood why the heroine was so pushy and borderline obnoxious. She would need that aggression and more to overcome the huge obstacle the author had thrown at her.

The book kept me up all night, but if it hadn’t been a contest entry I would have tossed it aside at page 40 and missed out on a fantastic read.

The experience has me rethinking how long I’ll give a book before giving up on it.

How many pages do you give a story, before giving up?

Ebooks: An End to the Race Debate?

Yesterday on Twitter, there was an interesting conversation under the hashtag #litchat. The topic: White Readers Meet Black Literature. It was spearheaded by the fabulous Carleen Brice who has made it her mission to open the world of black literature to non-black readers.

I suspect I could go through an entire ream of paper printing the pages of discussions I've read on this subject in the years since I started following it, which I'll admit occurred only after I became published. You see, like many who aren't immersed in the publishing world, I didn't realize this was such a huge issue...until I understood how it affected my bottom line. But that's human nature, isn't it? This is also why I think many fellow writers who are not banished to the black section of the book store really cannot understand what this means to those who are.

One moment...I just had to check my calendar to make sure this is 2011, because there's no way I'm using language such as "banished to the black section" in the second decade of the 21st century. But, yes, it is. And, yes, I am. Excuse me while I heave a huge, disappointed sigh.

I had no intention of rehashing this issue yet again. I've written about it before, and it has been discussed ad nauseam by countless bloggers. But as I read through yesterday's Tweets and clicked through some of the links, I stumbled upon an interesting observation. Someone suggested that eBooks will bring an end to the racial segregation that several major book retailers have practiced for years.

Could it be true? Can the death of this unjust practice that has hindered authors for years be a byproduct of the eBook revolution?

To test it, I went to a major eBook retailer's website and searched for "football romances" to see if my football romance would be listed with all the other football romances available to readers. It was. And on the first page.

Does this prove that the race in publishing issue may be coming to an end? I'm not in any way convinced that eBooks will usher in a significant change, but my little experiment did give me a small, single-speck-of-fairy-dust, measure of hope.

What are your thoughts?