Thursday, May 7, 2015

How to Not to Write a Novel

Things that were surprising but probably shouldn't have been.

As an author you will be marketing for the rest of your life. It will never end.

As part of the marketing you will join more social media sites than you need or want. You will wonder what to do. You will wonder what will work.

Almost all writers have cats. It's not mandatory but you will be on the outside of the other cat owners. Rare is the author with a dog. Personally, I like birds.

Finishing things are absolutely necessary.

Your friends will not review your book. Your book may  not get many reviews. Your book may get zero reviews.




15 comments:

Charles Gramlich said...

Reviews. Reviews. My kingdom for reviews! :)

Che Gilson said...

Seriously!! I THOUGHT wrongly, my friends at least would review it!!! But NO!

Jillian said...

I totally get that about the friends. Not only will my friends and family not review mine, they won't buy them. They always ask for me to give them to them - the few times I have, they still don't read them.

Che Gilson said...

I never give my family free books! And the few eARCS I gave out netted me nothing too.

Sunny Frazier said...

I love marketing! So much more fun than the actual writing. As for reviewers, I cultivate those very early on. I check to see where others in my genre have been reviewed and simply ASKED. Most say yes. Amazon reviews--who cares? They have so many rules it's ridiculous. A friend just told me they refused to let her review because she had too many friends on FB. Seriously?

Liane Spicer said...

LOL, Charles!

This is wonderful, Che. I gave away ARCs of my first book to friends and family, and that taught me a valuable lesson, namely, DON'T! A few of my writer friends wrote reviews without my asking, and I KISS THEIR FEET! Awesome writers, meh friends and family.

I will not bespeak that marketing thing here today. Need I to hire Sunny to do it for me. Hey! That's a thought...

I've never owned a cat, although I tried to smuggle one home in my bag as a child. Still don't know how my mother knew...it's not like it was mewing or anything. Love dogs but don't have one any more. I've got lots of house lizards, though, although 'got' is not quite the right word for those speedy little things.

Finishing things. I have about 10 unfinished things. I will proceed to finish them today.

Amy M. Reade said...

As frustrating as marketing can be, I really do like it. I have a question: at what stage do you recruit beta readers and then when do you send them your work?

Liane Spicer said...

Sunny, Amazon IS ridiculous with the review policy, but I think they're just a bit freaked out by all the manipulating going on. Actually, they're not so much freaked out as trying to placate the customer base after a few people who gamed the system in a big way caused a big scandal a couple years ago.

I don't sweat it. Every so often I see a new review has gone up and I smile, and that's about it.

Cora said...

Marketing? Promotion? I'm warming to it sloooooowwwwwlllly.

jrlindermuth said...

I don't have a cat and my last dog died on me. I'd consider getting a cat or another dog if they'd do the marketing for me. I know it's important. But I'd rather be writing. Won't someone please do the marketing for me?

Elaine Faber said...

Folks I'll scratch your back if you'll scratch mine... exchange reading books and then review. My latest cat mystery just published, Black Cat and the Accidental Angel. Book launch is this weekend. I've shared all the experiences listed above with family, friends, etc, though pleased with the number of reviews I've had. It is the pits waiting to be discovered, isn't it? So much talent and so little appreciation...LOL

Maggie said...

Sometimes friends/family tell me they're reading my book and enjoying it. Then I hear nothing!

Joyce Ann Brown said...

My stash of gold, too. This is crazy. People rushed to review my first book, but they are taking their sweet times for the second.

Karen said...

I have a dog! And my friends reviewed my book!
Great post though :o)

Jewel Amethyst said...

I have no pets. The only one that requires little work is a fish so that's what we had until it died. I did grow up in a house with multiple cats though and my budding author daughter keeps harassing me for cat. I tell her when she's 18 and out of my house she can have one.

As for marketing, I HATE IT!!!. But its a union for authors "until death do us part"... much like marriage is supposed to be, except that marriage has that divorce clause.

As for friends and family reviewing: fuggedabout it! But yes some of my friends who tried to review on Amazon had a difficult time because they wanted credit card info and all that jazz.

But on the upside, I never requested one review for my first book and I have over 100 reviews with 52 5 stars and 24 4 stars. If your book is read often enough, people will review it- for better or for worst.

I'm learning a lot about marketing. One of the things is that there is no immediate gratification however you must be patient but also know when to quit if your investment is not worth the returns.