Wednesday, February 4, 2015

A Girl's One-Liner Anecdotes, Based Upon Her Writing Life

Happy February 2015! Our Novel Spaces elective theme this month is Author Anecdotes, wherein we write anecdotes about our writing careers. I admit that I had to look up the meaning of the word antecdote, as I had an idea of what it is, but wasn't sure (never said I was the sharpest of the bunch). I'm still not sure, lol, but I'm here to take a crack at it, and I've decided to do one-liners, semi-humorous, about some of the things I've noticed along my author path. So here goes (cursing involved, but it's like that sometimes):

1. MUSE - My Ultimate Spiritual Energy - screw that, she's a moody bitch who inspires me to write whenever the hell she feels like it.

2. I didn't want to be a writer because I always connected the word starving with it. Well, I'm a writer, and I was right.

3. If I had a penny for every time someone suggested that I send my book to Oprah, I'd be Oprah.

4. A writer should never drink while writing, unless of course they never want to become an author.

5. I never use cliches, but hey, it is what it is, never say never, what will be will be.

6. A deadline is a line you meet by a certain date otherwise you die.

7. An outline is a road map for your characters to deviate from once they reroute your GPS and start telling their own damn stories.

8. Definition of an author: A hermit, isolated and reclusive, who talks a lot, makes things up, tell lies, hears voices, and has the nerve to sit around waiting for royalty checks.



Liane Spicer said...

LOL! LOL! LOL! These are so funny--and so damned true. Especially the starving part.

Charles Gramlich said...

Good ones!

Sunny Frazier said...

I have to get my friends to read this!

Marja said...

Love these, and thanks for putting it into perspective -- or something like that. :)

Marja McGraw

Linda thorne said...

If it makes you feel better, I recognized your drawings, from having bought your book, Avigon, in 2005. Also from some of your bookmarks I bought at an art festival in Hanford in 2004 in the worst Tule fog I'd ever seen in that town. The bookmarks show your "brand" of character designs. What is most amazing is they still look new (11 years later) when most I'm given by authors are tattered and old looking within a year. There's still time for fame (and actually fortune in $$$).

Jewel Amethyst said...

Lol! This is really funny. We need to do these anecdotes again.