In 1969, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross wrote a
fun-filled book called “On Death and Dying.” In it she describes
the seven stages people go through when they face death: shock,
denial, anger, bargaining, guilt, depression and acceptance.
Writers also have a lifetime of stages
to go through. It starts at infancy and continues past retirement
(although sometimes writing starts with retirement). Here are the 20
stages of a writer's life:
Stage One: “Oh, this floppy thing has
pictures in it. Nice!”
Stage Two: “A-B-C-D-E. . .E. . .E?”
Stage Three: “Letters make words!”
Stage Four: “Words make sentences.
See Spot run.”
Stage Five: “Cursive? What the????
Why can't I just keep printing?”
Stage Six: “Where are the pictures in
this book?”
Stage Seven: “I want to write my own
book.”
Stage Eight: “Do I really need to
study English to write a novel? Naw.”
Stage Nine: “REJECTED? You can't be
serious.”
Stage Ten: “Okay, I'll get serious.
I'll learn grammar and punctuation.”
Stage Eleven: “Note to self: Drinking
doesn't improve writing.”
Stage Twelve: “I have no friends.”
Stage Thirteen: “I found a critique
group!”
Stage Fourteen: “The critique group
doesn't 'get' my writing.”
Stage Fifteen: “Agents and editors
are idiots.”
Stage Sixteen: “I reject 'Big
Publishing.' I can do this myself.
Stage Seventeen: “Okay,
self-publishing is tougher than I thought.”
Stage Eighteen: “I've got a contract
with a small publishing house!”
Stage Nineteen: “IT'S A BOOK!”
Stage Twenty: “I wasn't in it for the
money anyway.”
16 comments:
LOL, Sunny. Painfully, wonderfully true for most writers, I imagine. :)
Lol. Very good. And true.
Yes, yes, and yes! I'm in my last stage. Please come up with another or is this it?
Love it! So true. Especially 20.
You and me too, Theresa. We need a step beyond 20, Sunny. Pretty please.
My first step started with "LAURA INGALL WILDER!" What's she got that I don't have? It bothered me all the way through 5th grade. I'm still chasing her shadow. I agree that we need another list. Keep going.
This was great, Sunny. Fun and a-little-too-true way to start my Tuesday!
Okay. We're at twenty. What are the next five steps?
Why don't my friends come to my book signing?
Amazon - that's all???
So, so true and stage 21 is "I wasn't in it for the money so why do I have to do all this work to report my piddly earnings to the government?"
You guys make ME laugh! And, Glad you could relate.
Great job, Sunny. I can relate -- we all can -- to this clever, perceptive list of yours. Very witty!
I know a lot of writers stuck on Stage 11. Not me, though! I've moved on.
Squeeze in a stage referencing Tequila and you have my life in a nutshell.
I'm slowly learning to move my drinking to after the writing.
It's a process.
A slow one.
:)
LOL! You're struck the nail on the head. I guess I'm stuck in the "I wasn't in it for the money anyway."
You forgot the stage where you tell yourself you'll get rich when you write your book :)
Wonderfully witty, Sunny! And great comments from everyone. I hope to be at Eighteen in the very near future. There is a lot of catching up for me. And one day I too can worry about what comes after 20!
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