15 Ways to Rescue Your Scene

Make your scenes shine! In This Scene Sucks: 15 Screenwriting Mistakes to Avoid, Timothy Cooper shows writers how to do just that by describing the screenwriting mistakes he most often sees. Of course, the same principles apply to fiction writing.

Here are the problems Mr. Cooper, an accomplished screenwriter, most often sees:

1. Characters are described in excruciating detail

2. Characters have androgynous names.

3. Character names begin with the same letter, and/or look similar on the page.

4. The scene begins at the very beginning of the exchange, rather than the middle.

5. Typo.

6. People say exactly what they mean.

7. The actual action of the scene is unclear.

8. We’re introduced to too many characters on the first page.

9. Formatting issues. 

10. Much of the information is impossible to actually show on the screen.

11. Long chunks of text.

12. An unimportant character is given too much weight.

13. No major conflict.

14. Unnecessary parentheticals. 

15. Clichéd dialogue.

#4, “The scene begins at the very beginning of the exchange, rather than the middle” is one of my favorites. Timothy Cooper expands on his statement:

Yes, many conversations begin like this in real life. But on the page, it’s crushingly dull. Instead, enter the scene mid-conflict by jumping in as late as possible (without being confusing). Then, make sure to exit the scene before it’s all wrapped up neatly. This leaves some tension to push the reader into your next scene.

I also like #8, “We’re introduced to too many characters on the first page”:

Introduce us to just a few characters at a time. It’s like going to a party: If the host tells you everyone’s name at once, you won’t remember a single name. But if you start by talking with just two or three people, then move on to the next small group, you’re way more likely to get to know and care about each individual. 

I just purchased a used copy of The Scene Book: A Primer for the Fiction Writer, by Sandra Scofield. The author offers this advice about scene openings:

It is possible to pull the reader into the heart of the story, beginning in media res without getting lost, if your opening lines offer enough details of situation, setting, and potential conflict.

Sandra Scofield offers an entire chapter to scenes with many characters. As I tend to populate my story with lots of characters (a curious writer trait, as I’m pretty much of a loner) I’m going to pay close attention to this advice.

Can you add pet peeves to this list? Tell us what you’ve done to rescue your beloved story.

Read Timothy’s Cooper’s entire article here.
 

For more on The Scene Book: A Primer for the Fiction Writer, click here.

Book Reviews

 by Linda Thorne

Ah, reviews. Whether good, bad, or ugly, we yearn for them. Well, maybe not the one-star review or those certain two-starred ones that rant only the negative, but for the most part authors welcome them with open arms.

It's my understanding that Amazon will do things for you promotion-wise when you have twenty reviews, then even more when you have fifty plus. I'd like to get to each of these levels and find out what these benefits are, but for me getting reviews is not easy.

Some of my readers have volunteered to put up a review of my book, but never do. I'm sure they meant it at the time and I check regularly for that "one-more-added" review. Maybe if I showed my true emotions when they first mentioned it—chanted cheers and did somersaults—they may have followed through.

I'm shy about asking for reviews, but in the past six months I've gotten bolder. When someone tells me they are reading or have read my book. I flat out state, "I hope you'll consider a review on Amazon and/or Goodreads." I'm not comfortable doing this, but I'm beginning to think it is necessary. 

I asked my publisher to add a blurb at the back of my book asking for consideration of a review. I found out that other authors had requested the same thing and my publisher thought it was a great idea.

After I wrote this post, the January 2017 issue of Writer's Digest showed up in my mailbox with a timely article on this very subject. Barbara Solomon Josselsohn published, "The Review Rat Race" in WD's "5-Minute Memoir" section. In her article she says, "...many authors will attest, customer reviews have become the holy grail of novel publishing." She also confesses she'd feel better if she could just appreciate a compliment about her books without the thought of the sought-after book review jumping to the forefront.   

What about you? If you're a published author, do you have problems getting reviews? Do you have other resources that help you bring them in or are you relying solely on those folks who read your books?

***

Today, the 17th of the month, is also the 3rd Thursday, so I have a scheduled post over at Make Mine Mystery blogspot too. Hope you'll stop by.

http://www.lindathorne.com

Amazon – Hyperlink to Your Amazon

The End of Vacations

Our flight into Dallas/Fort Worth International Airport was late in the evening. We had left our car at the hotel where we had spent the night before leaving on vacation. There are telephones in the airport which connect you to hotels, but for some reason, we were unable to connect to the hotel. And there were no payphones in the airport.

After a long vacation, our cell phone was dead.

We borrowed a cell phone from a generous man and called the hotel. Thirty minutes later, and still no hotel van, a lovely couple let us use their cell phone, even though their battery was low. The van should be there any minute.

Another thirty minutes passed. We were visiting with a young woman and related our lengthening wait. She asked for the number, pulled out her cell phone and dialed the hotel. When they answered, she told them in no uncertain terms that this was unacceptable. "Do you realize you have two old people who have been waiting for pickup for an hour? Where are you?"

It worked. The van arrived in less than ten minutes. I think maybe the "OLD" got their attention. Some small perks for getting ... well ... older.

With that in mind, we are careful to have our cell phone well charged before returning from vacations.

But that does not always solve the problems.

Once we arrived back at Dallas Love Field and called the Hawthorn Suites by Windam where our car sat waiting for us. Twenty ring did not produce an answer. We tried again. Thirty rings - same results.

Okay, take a taxi. The hotel was only a few miles away. An expediter directed us to the head of the taxi line. After putting our suitcases in the trunk, we told the driver the name of the hotel. He looked confused, so we handed him a card for the hotel. He produced a magnifying glass and studied the card. Still he did not know where the hotel was. The magnifying glass encouraged us to retrieve our suitcases and ask the next taxi. He said of course he knew where it was. "Joe just didn't want to take you since it's a short run."

Five miles later we drove right past the hotel-almost didn't see it. It was totally dark. The taxi backed up until we were in front of it. There appeared to be a small light deep inside. But no lights in the lobby, none in the rooms, nothing. It looked completely deserted. This was a sizable hotel.

Had it gone out of business while we were gone? What happened to our car?

I directed the taxi to take us around to the back where we had left our car. It was totally dark back there also, and very few cars. But, we found ours. We paid the taxi, grabbed our bags, loaded them into our car and quickly left this ghost hotel.

As we drove out of the area, we noticed there were no lights in any of the buildings. We decided there must have been a power outage. Nothing ghostly about it. And our car was there - and started. All was okay. We headed for home.

A little bump at the end would not spoil a wonderful vacation.

James R. Callan, November 2016
Author page for James R. Callan

The End of Vacations

Our flight into Dallas/Fort Worth International Airport was late in the evening.  We had left our car at the hotel where we had spent the night before leaving on vacation.  There are  telephones in the airport which connect you to hotels, but for some reason, we were unable to connect to the hotel.  And there were no payphones in the airport.

After a long vacation, our cell phone was dead.

We borrowed a cell phone from a generous man and called the hotel.  Thirty minutes later, and still no hotel van, a lovely couple let us use their cell phone, even  though their battery was low.  The van should be there any minute. 

Another thirty minutes passed. We were visiting with a young woman and related our lengthening wait. She asked for the number, pulled out her cell phone and dialed the hotel.  When they answered, she told them in no uncertain terms that this was unacceptable.  "Do you realize you have two old people who have been waiting for pickup for an hour? Where are you?"

It worked. The van arrived in less than ten minutes.  I think maybe the "OLD" got their attention.  Some small perks for getting ... well ... older.

With that in mind, we are careful to have our cell phone well charged before returning from vacations.

But that does not always solve the problems.

Once we arrived back at Dallas Love Field and called the Hawthorn Suites by Windam where our car sat waiting for us. Twenty ring did not produce an answer. We tried again. Thirty rings - same results.

Okay, take a taxi. The hotel was only a few miles away.  An expediter directed us to the head of the taxi line. After putting our suitcases in the trunk, we told the driver  the name of the hotel. He looked confused, so we handed him a card for the hotel. He produced a magnifying glass and studied the card. Still he did not know where the hotel was. The magnifying glass encouraged us to retrieve our suitcases and ask the next taxi. He said of course he knew where it was. "Joe just didn't want to take you since it's a short run."

Five miles later we drove right past the hotel-almost didn't see it. It was totally dark. The taxi backed up until we were  in front of it. There appeared to be a small light deep inside. But no lights in the lobby, none in the rooms, nothing.  It looked completely deserted.  This was a sizable hotel. 

Had it gone out of business while we were gone?  What happened to our car?

I directed the taxi to take us around to the back where we had left our car.  It was totally dark back there also, and very few cars.  But, we found ours.  We paid the taxi,  grabbed our bags, loaded them into our car and quickly left this ghost hotel.

As we drove out of the area, we noticed there were no lights in any of the buildings.  We decided there must have been a power outage.  Nothing ghostly about it.  And our car was there - and started.  All was okay.  We headed for home.

A little bump at the end would not spoil a wonderful vacation.

James R. Callan, November 2016     
Author page for James R. Callan

Retelling Tales Twice Told

I hadn't really realized it, but I seem to have a 'thing' for retelling fairy tales. The first one I retold was "The Elves and the Shoemaker" which turned into the story of a high school boy who happens to have fairies suddenly finishing his math homework. 

Many years later I wrote a retelling of Snow White called "Mirror Glass" which never found a home. It was a short story that I wrote for an anthology call out but I never managed to sell it. 

Then, just last year I finished a novella length retelling of George McDonald's "The Light Princess".

So, what have I learned from all these retellings? Am I just short on my own ideas? Or is there something more? Well I will tell you!

I like retellings for a couple of reasons: 

1- They have the story structure and characters built in, but most fairy tales gloss over enough that you can make them your own. 

2- There is something about the tale that I want to change or twist. Something that I call bullshit on. An unanswered question. A secondary character that was really interesting. Something about it that calls to me to do more with it. 

Now, don't think only fairy tales get retold. How often has Hamlet been done before? Othello? Sherlock Holmes? Alice in Wonderland? The answer is a lot. And every author who takes on such a tale brings something new to the story. Think about the "Elementary" TV show. It's Sherlock and Watson transported too modern day New York. Or take "Once Upon a Time" for example. Disney fairy tale characters struggle in the real world with the same dark magics they struggled with in their own realm. But they all take the original tale, change it, and make it new.

Sometimes it's as simple as gender swapping the characters. Like having a female Watson. Or changing the setting. Perhaps you feel like the story would be really interesting if it took place on the moon. Or perhaps you want to turn Red Riding Hood into a contemporary murder mystery.

Keep in mind the original story but don't feel you have to slavishly follow it. Add depth to the characters. Look for symbols from the original that you can bring into your version. Perhaps there is a theme or resonant feeling that you can amplify.

If you want to write and market a fairy tale retelling the most popular place to do so is in fantasy fiction and young adult. But publishers are looking for a REALLY unique twist on the old tales. So that can be harder to do. Especially if you want to remain faithful to the original. Short story markets can be open to retellings too, but again, it's best to have a great twist. 

Self publishing of course is an option that many authors have embraced and it too is rife with retellings in all genres. 

So dust off those tales from childhood and look at them anew. You just might find your next big inspiration.

The eBook vs. the Print Book Price War

Have you noticed that the price margin between print books and ebooks is narrowing? Not long ago, a reader would have the choice of either purchasing a $14.99 trade version of a book, or pay $4.99 for the ebook version of the very same title. What that did for ebooks was great, but what it did for print books meant they were second choice more often than not, because when it came down to clicking "Buy Now," readers saw the price difference as a no brainier, and they'd buy the electronic version, which told publishers that unless the reader just had to have the print version, the ebook version was good enough.

But, publishers realized that enough was enough when print books were not moving, and more and more books remained boxed up, waiting to be sold, standing in line behind their electronic counterparts. Print-on-demand helped out, but still, the production cost of printing a book remained significantly higher, and publishers realized they couldn't cut print prices because the profit margin was too narrow as it was. 

And so, the answer has been to simply raise the price of the ebook, and narrow the gap so that readers would see a choice between a $14.99 print version, and an $11.99 ebook version, and hopefully decide that the print version was well worth $3.00 more. 

So ebooks are going up in price, and I see that as a good thing for publishers and authors, yet perhaps not so good for readers in some cases. Some have a limit on how much they'll pay for an ebook, and are very firm in not going beyond that, but if it's a book they really want, they will. We (publishers and authors) are subtly encouraging readers to think twice before making that final decision as to which version to buy, and go beyond their preference as far as format. The book format price playing-field has been strategically planned to level out. And, I think it's working! 

So don't be afraid to charge a little more for your ebook. Just don't tell your readers that I told you, lol! 

Write on!! 

Suspended Reality

Monday was Halloween. My husband came home and expressed his displeasure at his coworkers coming to work in Halloween costume.
“I don’t understand how grown people could be dressing up in stupid Halloween costumes,” he said.
Without missing a beat, I replied, “The same way we dress up in costume for Carnival.”
That stumped him.
I have to admit, that was just how I thought not too long ago. I looked down on Halloween as a very silly infantile activity. I mean, why would a culture celebrate the darker elements of life and death? I was not alone in this. Many people from the Caribbean have a very negative opinion of Halloween ranging from it being silly, to it being the work of the devil.
I spent 3 years living in Brooklyn, NY in a community of Caribbean immigrants and I never once saw trick-or-treaters or anybody dressed in costume on Halloween. Yet folks from that same community spend lots of money on costumes for the Labor Day West Indian Parade on Eastern Parkway.
It’s only after having kids I’ve come to rethink Halloween. I’ve come to realize in every country, from every part of the world, people dress in costumes at different times. Whether it’s carnival, Halloween, Chinese New Year, Native American ritual dances, whatever it is, people like dressing in costume. Why?
Maybe it’s a form of suspended reality. For a brief moment you get to change your character and be somebody else. You can let your imagination run wild.
Suspended reality, that explains it. Why else would we dress up kids and let them walk from house to house begging candy from total strangers? And why would we open the doors to strangers without even looking and give them stuff? Yes suspended reality. When in costume, we change our characters.
But isn’t that what we require readers to do as authors? Don’t we ask readers to suspend reality and delve into the world that we created, with the characters that we created?
Authors are the biggest creators of suspended reality. We create the costumes with our words and paint them to the pages. And readers feed on it. Why else would Comic Con be so well attended by people wearing costumes?