What Do You Know?

Over the last few months I conducted a writing workshops for a few teens. One young lady brought in a story that was quite interesting. After we read and critiqued it, she shared that the story had been a school assignment. Her teacher had asked them to write a story that included several elements including a pueblo blanket. It was clear from the list of items that the teacher wanted the students to write a story with a Native American theme. The young lady, however, decided she did not know enough about Native American culture to write comfortably about it and without the option for research she wrote something with which she could relate and in which the required elements made only cameo appearances.

I'm not sure how her teacher responded but I applauded her innate understanding of the idea of writing what you know. This is a complicated and often misunderstood concept. If it is interpreted at its most basic level it would mean the police should be knocking on Maggie King's door and let's not even begin to discuss Pynk. Writing what you know may have more to do with writing about emotions, feelings, and experiences you understand, even if they are then set on Mars, in locales you have researched but never lived in.

You may never have been accused of murder but you may have felt the injustice of being misunderstood or having your motives questioned.

You may not have lost a brother but you have felt the loss of something that meant a lot to you.

You may never have flown in a spaceship, walked on another planet, or encountered an alien race but you've probably felt the exhilaration of a new, exciting, and deliciously dangerous experience.

You may not have killed anyone but you may have felt the rage or longing that took you to the brink of committing a crime.

What has been your experience writing about locales and experiences foreign to you? What steps do you take to ensure your writing is authentic?

When Cheating with an Insignificant Becomes Significant

GUEST POST by PYNK on a different yet necessary topic, Infidelity!

Cheating, infidelity, adultery - in each of these circumstances, someone went beyond the expectations of a commitment, and someone was left with the painful decision of staying or leaving, and possibly a broken heart. This subject is always an emotional one that can cause sadness and hurt. Most people have been there, and so have I. This is why I was so excited about the opportunity to write on the subject of infidelity in the novella series, INSIGNIFICANT OTHERS, with bestselling author Carol Taylor.

The Dictionary website defines the word insignificant as meaning; too small to be important. When one steps outside of a relationship for a physical or emotional encounter with someone on the side who is too small to be important, less significant to them than their own significant other, to me, that side person becomes more important; so important that the affair with that person is worth more than the destruction of the main relationship. It takes maturity, wisdom, and devotion to not take that risk. No matter the reason; loneliness, temptation, a loss of will, a hug that went too far, etc., someone ends up getting hurt. Thus, the topic is a passionate one.

The first time I was cheated on was when I was in high school and I found out on the night of my prom that my boyfriend took his ex-girlfriend to her prom the night before (he wore the tux he'd gotten for my prom). Another time, I went out of town with a man to meet his mother for the first time, and she told me she hadn't seen him in a year, when he'd just told me he went to see her three months earlier. (He did travel to her town, but he stayed with his kid's mom). Or even when I sat in my man's car talking to him, and a phone vibrated from under the seat. That was when I found out he had two cell phones; one for me and his family, and one for his five insignificant women. Five minutes later, one of those women called me on my phone (he'd called me from her phone one day and blocked the call) and she asked to speak to him. I told her to call him on his chic-on-the-side phone in 5 minutes, that I'd be out of his life for good and she could have him, and graduate to being the main phone woman. There are many more examples, but the point is, I've been there and I survived, though breakups are not pretty. At one point in my life, I was the cheater, and it was messy, so I can't throw stones. To this day, I don't even consider cheating. It's just not worth it. I live up to my commitments - period.

The story I've written in INSIGNIFICANT OTHERS is called Erotic City: Miami, and it centers around those who swing, and why anyone would do that, in particular, when it's done along with his/her mate. What would be the end result? Does it make things better to join in with someone who wants to satisfy their lustful thoughts for someone other than you? And when it's all said and done, wouldn't that couple really prefer to be monogamous? Is watching your mate have sex with an insignificant partner really worth it, simply because at the end of the day, you're the significant one, the number one girl/guy? I explore quite a few scenarios that will make you think. It surely made Milan Kennedy, the owner of Erotic City swingers club, think. Getting ourselves into situations that go too far, whether out on a lunch date with a coworker, or going to a neighbor's house for a cup of sugar, most times, without will-power, can be a, "Baby, one thing led to another," situation - thus infidelity.

Bottom line, be faithful, keep your word, and if what's good for the goose is good for the gander, fine; just make sure the trysts with the geese don't come back to haunt your loving commitment with your significant other, because he/she may forgive you, but they'll never forget.

PYNK

www.authorpynk.com

Click here to purchase INSIGNIFICANT OTHERS by PYNK and Carol Taylor

Playing It Safe? Not!

It's been a while since I've posted Pynk-style on Novel Spaces, but in honor of my new release that comes out in 45 days, on March 23rd, I thought I'd touch on the subject of the book, which is sex addiction. The title is SEXAHOLICS. There's been a lot of buzz about sex addiction lately - there's a reality show, and tons of celebrity gossip about who is and who isn't addicted. Addictions, be it food, shopping, gambling, alcohol, love, sex, whatever, are very real and can ruin or end folks' lives and the lives of those whose paths they cross.

SEXAHOLICS was a challenge to write - to create four, three-dimensional women with very different backgrounds and lives, who are lust addicts, or sex drunks as I call them, was not an easy task, but I asked for it. It was my bright idea. As writers, the same rules that apply to crafting a story apply no matter what the genre. I put my heart and soul into this novel, and for those who enjoy erotica, it is my desire that this title brings an understanding of what it's like to live with a sex addiction illness. The 12-Steps for Sexaholics Anonymous members include a belief in a power greater than themselves. One Sexaholics Anonymous executive told me you can't recover without faith. Call it what you want, but whatever your religion is or isn't, you must believe in a higher power, or else recovery will allude you and you'll continue to fall of the sobriety wagon.

I look forward to the discussions about addictions in general, mainly as it relates to today’s current events. I posted the question on my FaceBook page recently, "Do you think Tiger Woods is really a sex addict, or is he in a sex rehab clinic (allegedly) for publicity reasons so he'll look like he's healed." Some say if every person who cheated on a spouse was in the public eye, they'd be sending a whole lot of people to rehab for sex, but because Tiger is in a fishbowl, the answer is to get him fixed, when he's no more addicted than any other "married player."

What's your opinion on it? Do you think Tiger's alleged addiction diagnosis is legitimate (and I know this would just be speculation), or did he simply get carried away with his busty bevy of opportunities. I'd love to hear your opinions.

I'm no expert on the subject, but one thing writing does is it requires you to do your research in developing your characters, and the result is that we become much more informed about the world around us, far beyond our own safe little box. And one thing we can't be as writers, whether penning women's fiction, horror, urban, romance, Christian fiction, or erotica . . . is safe when it comes to crafting our works.

Smooches,

xoxo

Foods for a Sexier Purpose - Writing

Earlier I thought I'd write an entry on a more generic novel-type subject. But by the evening, I started feeling a little sexy-energetic. That's because I went to dinner and had oysters and a glass of wine with my meal, and then . . . I found that I'd slid right into the Pynk zone. Low and behold - I think it's time to talk about sex again.

Like my steamed oysters and chilled Merlot, as you know, there are foods that feed sex drives, boost energy, sharpen memory, and actually help fight the flab. So I thought this would be the perfect time to mention the foods I know will work when it comes to feeling frisky - which at times, can also serve as a stimulating benefit to a writer.

Hot chilies - stimulate nerve endings and get the blood plumping
Asparagus and avocados - the vitamin-E churns hormones that stimulate sexual responses
Bananas - deliver a key nutrient to muscle strength which helps with orgasms
Dark Chocolate - contains a neuro-hormone, the same hormone released during sex = excitement
Oysters - linked to high sex drive due to the zinc content (here-here)
Pomegranates - contain antioxidants that lead to greater sensitivity
Red wine - also contain antioxidants that help boost blood flow
Watermelon - the oxides can speed arousal
Walnuts - the Omega-3 revs the engine
Strawberries - contains vitamin-C that boosts libido

If we choose to fuel our sex drive with these foods, I believe it could also improve our lust for writing. As much fun as a boost in sex drive can be in literal terms, imagine what it might possibly do to boost energy levels in general. We just might work that computer over and never want to get off of it! And we can all use more energy when it comes to knocking out that next book. Also, feeding our sex drive certain foods can sharpen memory. It's good to be able to remember what's on our minds and backtrack, project forward, find all of those many missing Post-it- notes, etc., so we can be sure to cover all the writer's bases. And lastly, I say mission accomplished if it can help fight the flab. We all sit for hours at a time, taking very few steps, and our midsections bare the brunt of it all. Every little bit helps. Grab some fresh fruit or some walnuts instead of those cookies and potatoes chips.

The act of sex itself can be pleasing, erotic, freeing, and aerobic, and we can all use more energy for that. But why not try the aphrodisiacs, and then head to our home office for a sexier purpose; the purpose of energetic writing? And maybe, just maybe, we'll get in a little frisky-business later on. After that hot chapter is written, that is. How about you?

The character of S-E-X!

S-E-X - that teeny-tiny three letter word. I find people's reactions to the subject so very interesting. It can be the dirty little word that causes ears to perk and eyebrows to raise. It can make blood pressures boil and cheeks blush. Sex breeds such controversy and shame. Such excitement and satisfaction. Sex garners attention, and at the same time, resistance. Sex, in itself, is a character.

Some believe the natural law of sexual intercourse was for purposes of procreation within marriage for formation of the family unit. The male has an orgasm and if all goes well, the woman gets pregnant. Her orgasm (IF she had one) was intended to aid him, and to assist the meeting of the sperm and the egg. Times have changed, though beliefs still linger in our heads that cause much guilt. All and all, the bottom line is, without sex, all else simply isn't. It's how we all got here, yet it's such a hush-hush subject. Though it is, pleasurable.

In November of 2008, I released my first erotica book, Erotic City, under the name Pynk. I knew that I could not simply write a book in the genre of erotica that's just sex, sex, sex - a writer must have well-developed characters, risk, conflict, and all of the pieces of the puzzle that make for a great story. In spite of those who say sex sells, an erotica book won't sell if you don't work hard to develop the story, and make sure that the sex scenes reveal a lot about the characters; how they react to sex, whether or not they talk in bed (or in the backseat), do they take the lead, scream, give, receive, are they repressed, etc. All of these actions should tell a reader about the individuals themselves.

Erotic City revolves around a woman who owns a swingers club, yet I didn't write a book about swinging. I wrote about the lives of swingers. The second book, Sexaholics, is about four women who are addicted to sex. Sex addiction, just like alcohol or gambling, is an illness. Writing the book required a lot of research to develop each character's specific arc. I even attended a few Sexaholics meetings just to learn as much as I could. For me, writing erotica is fun, yet just as challenging and just as much work as my mainstream titles. It still requires adherence to craft.

During my erotica talks, we do discuss my characters, but also, men and women also ask about sex toys, swinging, cyber-sex, oral sex, squirting, etc. The ones who start out looking reserved and shy, eventually tend to let their hair down. I love it when we can talk openly amongst each other about such important, yet still taboo subjects. Especially women, because we've been taught to not embrace our sexuality, that we won't get a husband if we're not "good" girls who save themselves for marriage, even though we desire to enjoy ourselves to the fullest extent, too. After all, bodies are built for pleasure. I try to encourage readers to be sexually confident, and remind them that whether they're alone, married, committed, single, gay, straight, whatever; to be mindful of protecting themselves through safe sex, first and foremost. Healthy sex amongst consenting adults can be a beautiful thing, and it's really no else's business. It basically depends upon one's spiritual and moral beliefs, and one size does not fit all.

I hope that through my erotica writing, I can give readers a peek into what it's like to live lives that are considered risque or erotic. I try to allow folks a voyeuristic view into the daily lives of my characters - living through them even though most times we wouldn't dare, and maybe heat up the libido of a reader or two. I always joke that reading erotica does not equate to freak-hood, :-) any more than writing erotica does. In the meantime, I hope that we women, especially, take time to live our sexy dreams. To me, as a writer, that would be orgasmic!

Here are a few books that Oprah recently recommended about sex. Please feel free to check them out. Smooches!