A Girl's One-Liner Anecdotes, Based Upon Her Writing Life

Happy February 2015! Our Novel Spaces elective theme this month is Author Anecdotes, wherein we write anecdotes about our writing careers. I admit that I had to look up the meaning of the word antecdote, as I had an idea of what it is, but wasn't sure (never said I was the sharpest of the bunch). I'm still not sure, lol, but I'm here to take a crack at it, and I've decided to do one-liners, semi-humorous, about some of the things I've noticed along my author path. So here goes (cursing involved, but it's like that sometimes):

1. MUSE - My Ultimate Spiritual Energy - screw that, she's a moody bitch who inspires me to write whenever the hell she feels like it.

2. I didn't want to be a writer because I always connected the word starving with it. Well, I'm a writer, and I was right.

3. If I had a penny for every time someone suggested that I send my book to Oprah, I'd be Oprah.

4. A writer should never drink while writing, unless of course they never want to become an author.

5. I never use cliches, but hey, it is what it is, never say never, what will be will be.

6. A deadline is a line you meet by a certain date otherwise you die.

7. An outline is a road map for your characters to deviate from once they reroute your GPS and start telling their own damn stories.

8. Definition of an author: A hermit, isolated and reclusive, who talks a lot, makes things up, tell lies, hears voices, and has the nerve to sit around waiting for royalty checks.

Ciao!