While attending a recent writers
conference I overheard a woman say “That author's ego is really
out of control.” The catty remark was aimed at an author who did
seem pretty full of himself. But it got me to wondering: Is there
room for humbleness when it comes to writing?
The dictionary definition of “humble”
is “Not proud or haughty, not arrogant or assertive; offered in the
spirit of deference or submission; ranking low in a hierarchy or
scale; insignificant; lacking all the signs of pride.” Does this
sound like the traits a successful writer?
The simple act of putting pen to paper
or fingertips to keyboard announces to the world, “I have something
to say. My thoughts are unique. My words are important!” That
mindset is what drives writers, convinces them every day to sit in a
chair and hope for the flow of ideas that will translate to the right
words on the page. This is what deprives them of family time, TV
time, sleep, and their favorite past time, reading. This is what
makes them snap at people, growl at interruptions, overeat and add
fat to their butt.
So, from where does this “arrogance”
spring? I can only speak for myself: I'm inspired by the scribes
before me. Shakespeare, Chaucer, Homer (not Simpson—Doh!). Their
words lasted centuries—will mine do the same? In the lightening
pace of today's plugged-in world, is it possible for my words to last
longer than the next tweet?
Writers have to be overly proud of what
we're doing—and yes, I'm in the non-humble crowd. We are out there
trying for truth and recognizing it our fellow authors. Ego and
belief in ourselves is what shores up our confidence when family
members look skeptical at our efforts. Friends encourage us with pats
on the back as if we've just escaped from a mental institution.
Authors are strangers, not people they know.
We struggle alone and wait for the
spark, that “Aha!” moment when our consciousness takes a giant
leap onto the page. That's the moment when the pleasure of writing is
transformed to the power of writing. There's no turning back.
The next hurdle is ignoring the censor
in your head that says “Can I write what I really feel and get away
with it?” Don't look for the green light from family and friends.
They're already worried you're going to spill the dirty laundry. You
can't wait to write until Granny and her church friends die.
On my list of the most daring,
soul-barring authors I've come across are Philip Roth, who never let
me look at liver the same way again. James Joyce, whose run-on
sentences go on for pages. Joan Didion slouching toward Bethlehem.
Erica Jong diminished my Fear of Flying. I never understood a word of
Henry Miller's Cancers but am incensed that he was censored. Anais
Nin who opened up her sexuality for public viewing. And my favorite
author, Chuck Palahniuk, always makes me want to write brave, to bare
my soul, not bar it.
I tell beginning writers that they must
always stand by their words because critics are out there ready to
tear them apart. Break new ground, break down barriers. Take old
ideas and turn them around like a prism until they see light from
another angle. Find their voice and use words that excite. What I
don't tell them is in the process they're going to cut their
emotional wrists and bleed all over the page. It's messy and some
aren't going to survive.
I tend to have raging self doubt myself.
ReplyDeleteI got over it long ago. Sing loud. Dance like you're Astaire. laugh at yourself.
ReplyDeleteMy writing ego is bi-polar. Some of the time it's got Charles's raging self doubt and it just wallows in despair. The rest of the time it thinks it's a misunderstood genius. At least I keep the latter locked away before it injures itself--or until the next downswing begins.
ReplyDeleteI've looked at this post a number of times and avoided it. I have to admit that I started off writing, thinking I was really good; thus, embarrassing myself galore. Then I went the opposite direction. When my book was good, I couldn't believe it. I was still so deflated, I was trying to find friends I could pay to critique my book. I didn't want to publish an embarrassment. When I asked Sunny Frazier to read it for money, she knew about the contests I'd finished as a finalist in. She told me it was time to start submitting it and that worked. My ego is back, but I'm still timid. I'll find out how I'll react when my debut novel, now under a publishing contract, is released.
ReplyDeleteGreat post. I keep reminding myself my story won't be everybody's "cup of tea." It helps to keep hearing the experienced authors talk about inevitable bad reviews and other ego-bruising aspects of getting published. Love Dac's comment--and if we can get a few others to laugh with us, understand us, we've succeeded at least on some level :) Thanks for keeping it real!
ReplyDeleteI never considered that I was brave in writing...the fearlessness comes when I'm critiqued...that's okay...I learned...still learning to hone the craft of writing (holy crap batman that was a lot of ellipses used)
ReplyDelete