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Monday, January 13, 2014

The Twenty Stages of Being a Writer

In 1969, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross wrote a fun-filled book called “On Death and Dying.” In it she describes the seven stages people go through when they face death: shock, denial, anger, bargaining, guilt, depression and acceptance.

Writers also have a lifetime of stages to go through. It starts at infancy and continues past retirement (although sometimes writing starts with retirement). Here are the 20 stages of a writer's life:

Stage One: “Oh, this floppy thing has pictures in it. Nice!”

Stage Two: “A-B-C-D-E. . .E. . .E?”

Stage Three: “Letters make words!”

Stage Four: “Words make sentences. See Spot run.”

Stage Five: “Cursive? What the???? Why can't I just keep printing?”

Stage Six: “Where are the pictures in this book?”

Stage Seven: “I want to write my own book.”

Stage Eight: “Do I really need to study English to write a novel? Naw.”

Stage Nine: “REJECTED? You can't be serious.”

Stage Ten: “Okay, I'll get serious. I'll learn grammar and punctuation.”

Stage Eleven: “Note to self: Drinking doesn't improve writing.”

Stage Twelve: “I have no friends.”

Stage Thirteen: “I found a critique group!”

Stage Fourteen: “The critique group doesn't 'get' my writing.”

Stage Fifteen: “Agents and editors are idiots.”

Stage Sixteen: “I reject 'Big Publishing.' I can do this myself.

Stage Seventeen: “Okay, self-publishing is tougher than I thought.”

Stage Eighteen: “I've got a contract with a small publishing house!”

Stage Nineteen: “IT'S A BOOK!”

Stage Twenty: “I wasn't in it for the money anyway.”


16 comments:

  1. LOL, Sunny. Painfully, wonderfully true for most writers, I imagine. :)

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  2. Yes, yes, and yes! I'm in my last stage. Please come up with another or is this it?

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  3. You and me too, Theresa. We need a step beyond 20, Sunny. Pretty please.

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  4. My first step started with "LAURA INGALL WILDER!" What's she got that I don't have? It bothered me all the way through 5th grade. I'm still chasing her shadow. I agree that we need another list. Keep going.

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  5. This was great, Sunny. Fun and a-little-too-true way to start my Tuesday!

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  6. Okay. We're at twenty. What are the next five steps?

    Why don't my friends come to my book signing?

    Amazon - that's all???

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  7. So, so true and stage 21 is "I wasn't in it for the money so why do I have to do all this work to report my piddly earnings to the government?"

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  8. You guys make ME laugh! And, Glad you could relate.

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  9. Great job, Sunny. I can relate -- we all can -- to this clever, perceptive list of yours. Very witty!

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  10. I know a lot of writers stuck on Stage 11. Not me, though! I've moved on.

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  11. Squeeze in a stage referencing Tequila and you have my life in a nutshell.

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  12. I'm slowly learning to move my drinking to after the writing.

    It's a process.

    A slow one.

    :)

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  13. LOL! You're struck the nail on the head. I guess I'm stuck in the "I wasn't in it for the money anyway."

    You forgot the stage where you tell yourself you'll get rich when you write your book :)

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  14. Wonderfully witty, Sunny! And great comments from everyone. I hope to be at Eighteen in the very near future. There is a lot of catching up for me. And one day I too can worry about what comes after 20!

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