tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5594341074652821017.post6492820768500204068..comments2023-08-14T10:44:59.007-04:00Comments on Novel Spaces: A Tale of Two QueriesKeVin K.http://www.blogger.com/profile/14792797517571690942noreply@blogger.comBlogger21125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5594341074652821017.post-67386987739613363452013-02-17T05:26:03.115-05:002013-02-17T05:26:03.115-05:00I suggest framing them both and putting them in yo...I suggest framing them both and putting them in your toilet:)If you ever have constipation and need a belly laugh they should prove useful! Jane Turleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01441332018679664175noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5594341074652821017.post-8515665063039581142013-02-16T16:02:51.246-05:002013-02-16T16:02:51.246-05:00First query is from someone not a native English s...First query is from someone not a native English speaker and not yet familiar with the language.<br /><br />Second is from someone not a professional writer and not yet familiar with the business of writing and publishing.Radine Trees Nehringhttp://www.radinesbooks.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5594341074652821017.post-88749422674635652362013-02-15T19:22:30.111-05:002013-02-15T19:22:30.111-05:00I should link this post with a post I wrote a few ...I should link this post with a post I wrote a few months ago called "How not to promo a book". It definitely would make an excellent companion piece.<br /><br />In all seriousness though, I equate writing a query letter with interviewing for a job. If you can't toot your own horn w/o sounding pushy, then you need serious help.<br /><br />Preferably from people who know what makes a good query letter.<br /><br />But once you can get that good query letter written, then you got the perfect template to use in the future. G. B. Millerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09783331838434598963noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5594341074652821017.post-69723065163048881402013-02-15T19:15:01.872-05:002013-02-15T19:15:01.872-05:00Funniest post I've read in a long while. Thes...Funniest post I've read in a long while. These are the best "how not to write a query" examples.<br /><br />As for that first query, my hypothesis is that he wrote it in another language and used an online translator to translate it to English. That's the only explanation I can possibly come up with.Jewel Amethysthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14813773386476356666noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5594341074652821017.post-80405750543622153512013-02-15T09:04:33.728-05:002013-02-15T09:04:33.728-05:00Couldn't respond until today. Wow, I'm pr...Couldn't respond until today. Wow, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't send those letters. I agee with Ann Allen.Leanne Stowersnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5594341074652821017.post-11243942155233624212013-02-15T09:02:44.820-05:002013-02-15T09:02:44.820-05:00Too funny! I feel much better now about the query ...Too funny! I feel much better now about the query letters I've written. :)Patricia Gligor's Writers Forumhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16801554698484928100noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5594341074652821017.post-5064783791936799252013-02-14T21:53:42.533-05:002013-02-14T21:53:42.533-05:00ROTFL! Grate Abyss has obviously gone to the same ...ROTFL! Grate Abyss has obviously gone to the same Spam College as a lot of my blogspammers. The other one--oh dear. There's some really bad advice out there, I guess. But with 1000s of professional blogs out there that all teach how to write a query, it's kind of amazing anybody can stay that ignorant. Anne R. Allenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02420000168356370825noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5594341074652821017.post-74196036877104654012013-02-14T21:43:18.786-05:002013-02-14T21:43:18.786-05:00I can shake my head today but I was oh so serious ...I can shake my head today but I was oh so serious when I created my first query letters. Listening to agents and editors at some writers conferences had me trembling in my boots. A few years and many queries later, I can laugh along with everyone. I don't think any of my queries were like these but it's nice to look back and see I survived my first years as a writer! Woo hoo!Theresa Varelahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04542433960197797105noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5594341074652821017.post-1578787636140743772013-02-14T18:40:31.098-05:002013-02-14T18:40:31.098-05:00I'd be curious to see what kind of book the Gr...I'd be curious to see what kind of book the Grate Abyss wrote. Maybe she was picking up an alien transmission from outer space. Seriously, if a person can't write a good query letter, how can he expect to penn a good book? Thanks for sharing these doozies.Sally Carpenterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00068827626295000653noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5594341074652821017.post-56056268534079595932013-02-14T18:22:58.937-05:002013-02-14T18:22:58.937-05:00Folks, I had to decide which ones were the best to...Folks, I had to decide which ones were the best to reprint. Should have called it A Tale of Twenty Queries. <br /><br />Rob, you had me at "Ms. Sunny." I have a Southern man who calls me "Miss Sunny." I have to say, the belle in me does love the sound. My grandmother was referred to as "Miss Virgie" when my grandfather was courting her. Not sure if I could have handled that handle! Sunny Frazierhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03693884364418711551noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5594341074652821017.post-85167136248907698782013-02-14T17:21:36.334-05:002013-02-14T17:21:36.334-05:00Geez, I can see why you weren't happy, Sunny. ...Geez, I can see why you weren't happy, Sunny. He didn't even offer you a cut if it went into movie production. I suppose he didn't send any chocolate either. I'd never leave that out.<br /><br />Still amazing, after all that it out there that you would still get queries like that.James R. (Jim) Callanhttp://www.jamesrcallan.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5594341074652821017.post-60582579618898870582013-02-14T16:07:07.781-05:002013-02-14T16:07:07.781-05:00OMG, Sunny. I'm up to my neck in alligators as...OMG, Sunny. I'm up to my neck in alligators as the saying goes, but took a few minutes to read your post. Unfortunately both of these writers do need to learn grammar and what NOT to put in a query letter. Good for you for sending the second writer a response. All I could do was shake my head and hope a lesson was learned.<br /><br />Now about that Bridge in Brooklyn that's for sale.....writerstricksofthetrade.blogspot.comhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02083070198778528841noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5594341074652821017.post-46222615810576614242013-02-14T15:20:00.203-05:002013-02-14T15:20:00.203-05:00A couple of those "OMG" moments, to be s...A couple of those "OMG" moments, to be sure. But at least they make one laugh.9742Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5594341074652821017.post-31403995600627332532013-02-14T15:14:49.505-05:002013-02-14T15:14:49.505-05:00You would think writers would do a little research...You would think writers would do a little research and read a book on query writing so they would know NOT to do those things. There are whole lot of books out there with tips on query writing and examples of queries. <br /><br />While writers may want to find a way to make their query stand out, including definite no-nos is not the way. <br /><br />Holli Castillohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15976235735822063166noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5594341074652821017.post-91558916728586707492013-02-14T14:53:39.516-05:002013-02-14T14:53:39.516-05:00If either of those two ever find a publisher they ...If either of those two ever find a publisher they won't be the only ones surprised. jrlindermuthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09204855909246670628noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5594341074652821017.post-25268786816584070482013-02-14T14:36:45.195-05:002013-02-14T14:36:45.195-05:00Ms. Sunny,
What do you think of my query letter?
...Ms. Sunny,<br /><br />What do you think of my query letter?<br /><br />To my sister from another mister, <br /><br />What’s shakin bacon? My story is real good and would make a great movie. If you publish me, I promise you will not be sorry. Unfortunately, I can’t share what I am writing about because it is all in my brain. There is nothing like it at Barnes and Noble. Give me a shout out if you want to know more and I will hit you back.<br /><br />Your brother from another mother says peace out!<br /><br />Do you think there is anything I should try to keep?<br /><br />I think the writer of the first query letter has spent too much time in a thesaurus and not enough time living life. That was fun, keep smiling!<br />rob akershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03119682986212406304noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5594341074652821017.post-12885677043747173412013-02-14T14:32:59.653-05:002013-02-14T14:32:59.653-05:00I thought I'd seen some doozies but these take...I thought I'd seen some doozies but these take the cake and pie too! Thanks for a huge belly laugh!! Thelma in Manhattan Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5594341074652821017.post-50877824083864276982013-02-14T14:18:56.611-05:002013-02-14T14:18:56.611-05:00I remember how frightened I was to send out my fir...I remember how frightened I was to send out my first query letter. It became easier after the 50th, then a breeze by the 100th. Since this is the author's first query, she has time to hone her craft. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5594341074652821017.post-64439559460215559202013-02-14T11:45:23.848-05:002013-02-14T11:45:23.848-05:00there is this thing called "Schizophrenia!&qu...there is this thing called "Schizophrenia!" :) Wow, that quote was pretty amazing.Charles Gramlichhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02052592247572253641noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5594341074652821017.post-85247638140298585552013-02-14T10:26:50.068-05:002013-02-14T10:26:50.068-05:00Good grief, your bad example sounds like the anony...Good grief, your bad example sounds like the anonymous spam I get on my blogs. Maybe Anon was the ghost writer? <br /><br />Thanks for the good advice. If/when I get to that point, I will hope for an acquisitions editor as gentle as you and remember your advice.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5594341074652821017.post-46089826382265380152013-02-14T10:21:40.031-05:002013-02-14T10:21:40.031-05:00That is a riot! Love the letter. I think a lot o...That is a riot! Love the letter. I think a lot of people lose sight of the fact that when they write a query, it's going to re read by an actual person. And persons (people) deserve a little respect. If you can't put in the effort to be nice, then don't bother writing the letter.William Doonanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07540517192121681243noreply@blogger.com